They're Back
by Lola Stang
Summary: Buffy was pulled out of heaven to find out Dean is in hell. The gang needs to find a way to get him out and Buffy needs to find a way to survive until them. Can Sam help? Set in season Six of Buffy and all over the place for Supernatural.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine

This is my first attempt at this and constructive criticism would be awesome

* * *

A kick to the side of the head and a satisfying snap of the neck and Buffy brought the axe down hard.

Another dead demon.

Axe in hand she turned to head home, and then stopped. The Calypto demon had been her big problem for the night and now it was dead, and she really didn't want to go home. Since telling the gang where she'd been it had been awkward and she hated it.

Maybe she would run into Spike and – 'NO!' She thought. That certainly couldn't happen again. If Dean had been there it wouldn't have happened in the first place.

Why wasn't he there?

Buffy shook the thought off. She could only take small doses of pain right now and these thoughts were going to lead to her being a crying mess in this cemetery, so she decided to head home. No matter how she felt she needed to get home to Dawn.

She walked past the old high school without a thought for it. She won a battle. There really wasn't anything else to do. It was win or lose. Although even in winning she tended to lose things.

Angel for one.

But Angel was long gone, a fond memory even. Right now all she wanted to see was Dean. His stupid smug face kept pushing itself to the forefront of her mind.

"Center stage always babe." She could almost hear his snarky comment and see the wink that accompanied it. A tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away along with the memory of Dean himself reaching out to wipe it from her eye before it ever fell. Always anticipating her needs.

She noted a movement in the bushes to her left. She moved over and pulled the bushes back to reveal a feeding vampire. Gratefully, she allowed all thought to slip away and gave way to the motions of The Slayer.

Once the vamp was dust she helped the girl to her feet. One look at the bite wound showed that it was already healing. He hadn't been able to take much.

"Go home and eat a cookie or something. You might be light headed tomorrow so don't forget to eat breakfast." The girl opened her mouth to respond, but Buffy cut her off, "You can thank me by not going out with strange guys, alone, at night anymore." Then she turned and walked home. The fight, though brief, had let her mind slip back into numbness.

When she got home she opened the door and walked down the hall to find Dawn dancing around the kitchen and humming. She panicked immediately grabbed her to keep her from burning.

"Dawn! Are you alright? You have to be careful!" she exclaimed as she checked to make sure there weren't any signs of Dawn burning

"Buffy it's okay. This isn't left over from dance-till-you-burn demon guy. It's just me making cleaning the kitchen a bit more fun…. Um Buffy?"

"Yea?"

"Teachers are gunna think you're abusing me when they get a look at the bruises on my arms." Buffy quickly let go and rolled up Dawn's sleeve to see that sure enough it was already starting to turn a bluish purple. She just stared at it for a bit, wondering how she was constantly hurting the people who were trying to help her. A look to the kitchen showed Dawn's work had paid off. The sink had been piled with dishes before Buffy left for patrol and the island had been a mess with Dawn's attempt at cooking dinner before Tara stepped in. All of it was almost sparkling now.

"I figured you could use something of a break since….. ya know"

"Thanks Dawn." Buffy answered with a smile that was about ¼ sincere and ¾ forced, which was actually very good for her at the moment. Dawn looked at her with eyes that were already filling with tears (no one seemed to be able to speak to her without almost crying lately, unless you count Anya) she quickly blinked them back. "So did you find Calypto?"

"Yep and got slayee. Also ran into a vamp who got dusty." Buffy trying to slip some of her language in to display normalcy. "It's already 12:30. Don't you have school tomorrow?" Buffy looked at the calendar to make sure it was a week night.

"Yea I was just headed… wanted to make sure you got home and clean the kitchen up… but yea. Night." She said as she headed back to the stairs.

"Night" Buffy called up to her. She then headed to closet to strip off her coat and put it away. Then up the stairs to her own bed. Lying down, her thoughts again wondered to Dean. So unlike any of the other men she had been with. She had loved Angel with everything she had, but she could have done without all the drama and brooding. Even if it was incredibly sexy. She had also love Riley in a way. He didn't have a deep dark past that required sorting through and shutting her out which had been an excellent change of pace. Although he never could accept her being stronger. He had needed someone to protect and take care of; the demon world was like some sort of romantic adventure to him.

Dean didn't hunt for fun, he did it for necessity. He didn't need someone to protect and watching her work had actually been a turn on. Where was he?! She remembered him next to her in this very bed, holding her. It had always felt good to be there. No worries or troubles. Just them holding onto the small part of normal that they had found in the incredibly weird lives they call theirs.

She was beginning to cry now. All of her carefully held numbness was constantly being shattered with thoughts of that man. She couldn't sleep in this bed. That's why when Dawn heard her screaming at 4 in the morning she ran into find her on the floor clutching a pillow. Dawn ran over to try and hold her.

"Buffy it's okay. Oh Buffy I'm so sorry! I'm so so sorry," but Buffy was still sleeping and she clutched at Dawn trying to fit more of herself into Dawn's arms.

"Dean," was all she said and she slowly stopped sobbing. Dawn just held her as tight as she could. Suddenly a shadow blocked the light from the hallway and Dawn looked up to see Willow silhouetted in the door.

"We have to tell her Will. It probably hurts her more thinking that he just won't come."

"It's going to hurt either way Dawnie. We're just trying to let her deal with one thing at a time."

"But she deserves to know. Maybe it'll be better if she is able to deal with everything at once. I mean know it won't be easy but… And you know sooner or later she'll try to call him herself, or Sam will call _her! _You know he missed just as much as the rest of us. He's as stubborn as his brother and he won't take that 'she needs time to adjust' crap for much longer." Dawn was getting a bit loud now and only realized this when Buffy turned in her arms. Both Dawn and Willow went very still and silent until Buffy began a slight rhythmic snore.

Dawn looked up to see tears streaming down Willow's face, and she couldn't hold her own back any longer. She held out and arm and Willow went to join her on the floor with Buffy.

"I'm so sorry Dawnie. How could we have—Why didn't I think?" After that they sobbed themselves to sleep, holding Buffy between them.

* * *

Tara woke up the next morning and instantly moved to snuggle into her Willow, but she wasn't there. She sat up and looked around the room. Still no Willow. She got up and checked the bathroom, not there. She walked out of the room and down the hall, stopping at Buffy's open door to see the three of them, still clinging to one another. She decided to leave them to wake up privately and go make breakfast. She checked the clock in the kitchen to be sure Dawn had to sleep a little longer before needing to get up for school. Still a solid hour.

Buffy assessed her body before she opened her eyes. She was a little sore but well rested in a weird sense. She knew that her dream had been nothing more than a dream so she didn't bother reaching out for Dean. Still she needed to figure out exactly where she was and just who was holding her so she opened her eyes to find out.

Her room, but on the floor and the arms and legs oddly intertwined with hers, Willow and Dawn. She was kind of comfortable, even if the hard floor hadn't been great for her back. This human contact wasn't enough to reawaken her spirit but it did remind her of life before the hell god. She allowed herself to live in that moment, until Dawn stirred then Buffy shot up and out the door to the bathroom.

She didn't want them looking at her in that awkward way, and she certainly didn't want to see the hope in their eyes that maybe last night had made it all better. Like them holding her pulled her out of the numbness. She didn't want to see that hope squashed anymore so she just tried to avoid looking at it. They tended to speak in fragmented sentences around her now, and were never really able to mention where she'd been by name.

No This morning she just didn't want to deal with it. She would like to hold onto the dream she'd been having for just a little longer, even if it was an illusion. That was the first good night's sleep she'd had since… well since before Glory really (if you weren't counting heaven).

Dawn stretched out an arm and was surprised to find that she wasn't in her own bed. It only took her a few seconds to remember having fallen asleep with Willow and Buffy. She sat up to see where they were. Willow was lying down still looking at her through droopy eyelids, and her face still held the signs of someone who had cried until they had fallen asleep. She sat up now and pulled Dawn into a hug.

"We have to tell her Will." She spoke into Willow's hair.

"We're going to. Today alright? As soon as you get home from school." Willow figured Dawn would want to be there just in case there was anything she could do. She figured correct.

"Alright. Is there anything else we can do to make it easier? Some sort of heart healing spell?"

"Well there's—no Dawnie. I think we've all been through that enough. Giles still won't have a full conversation with me. And… and I really hurt Tara."

"Yeah, no I get it. I just can't help but want to do something. Anything."

"I know Dawnie. We all do."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I'm doing this for fun not profit

The timelines are going to be messed up quite a bit so just bare with me as I try to make everything fit. I guess it's a fantasy world so it doesn't really matter if everything gets spot on.

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Buffy kept her shower short because she knew Dawn would need to get up and ready for school soon. All the while she reflected on her dream. It really hadn't been anything special. Just a memory of a night not long after Riley had left. Dean had stopped by claiming to be working on a job near by. (Later Buffy would ask Sam how that particular job went and Sam wouldn't have a clue what she was talking about. Apparently Dean just wanted to see her, and being Dean he couldn't just stop in.)

Long ago they had agreed that a permanent relationship between them was impossible because she had a hell mouth to guard and his duty was on the road with his father. But if he stopped by and she happened to be single they'd allow themselves some comfort. (Although they didn't need to be romantic to take comfort in one another.)

That night she had opened the door and threw herself at him, careful to hold back on the slayer strength so she didn't actually knock him over. Dean had been surprised. The woman in his arms was normally so cool and collected. He'd expected her to open the door, lean on the frame and smile one of those cute, coy smiles that she seemed to have perfected. Not that he was complaining.

Then she'd kissed him. It had been a hungry kiss. Like she'd been starving for his lips for months. Dean indulged in the kiss for a bit because let's face it, no matter how much he actually cared for this girl, he was still Dean Winchester. One of his hands went to her hair and wrapped around some of her amazingly soft golden mane, while the other went to her waist to hold her body closer to his. He was a bit starved himself.

Then, much as he truly hated it, he realized what was making her act this way and knew that he couldn't let this go where she clearly wanted to let it go. He took her by the shoulders and as gently as possible (the girl had slayer strength so it took a bit more than normal to pry her off) pulled her away to get a good look at her face. Sure enough there were tears in her eyes.

"What happened to Riley?" he asked not accusing, just needing to know how to help.

She let it all go. She was a sobbing mess with snot bubbles and all. She didn't have to prove her strength around Dean.

He took her hand and led her to the impala. "Honey you talk, I'll drive, and we'll have you feeling better in no time." He drove to the nearest store while listening to her Tale of Riley. Dean had never really liked the guy. Clean cut soldier boy was always trying to get Buffy to be less than she was. Jackass. Then _he_ gives _her_ an ultimatum, after letting Vamps use him as a snack? Double jackass, and now that Buffy wasn't dating him if Dean ever actually saw the guy again he could totally beat the crap out of him.

He parked the car and ran in to get a gallon of cookie dough fudge mint chip ice cream. Then they went to the video store where he ran in and picked up a few surprise movies. There wasn't a girl in the world he knew better than Buffy Summers.

He called Dawn while in the rental place to let her know what was up and she offered to go stay the night with Willow and Tara. Dawn had gotten cooler over the years. Joyce was away on a business trip which was odd because last time he checked she'd been really sick. Buffy had told him that Joyce had just been trying to maintain some sort of normal. Sounded a lot like what the two of them did everyday. It was a losing battle.

Back at the house he'd grabbed 2 spoons and all the junk food he could find. Dawn had left a note on the kitchen counter:

"Got new vanilla bubble bath soap stuff.

Buffy's Favorite

Top Shelf in upstairs bathroom cabinet"

He groaned and threw the note away. Tempting as it was, tonight he actually had to concentrate on what Buffy needed rather than simply getting it on. Plus he needed to tell her something, and if any of that happened he would most certainly not be able to tell her. It was going to be hard enough as it was. Too hard, he'd eventually decided.

"So when did Little Sis learn about dirty stuff?" he asked Buffy as he joined her on the couch spreading his bounty across the table in front of them. "Better not have been from you." He gave her his most 'disapproving' look and quirked an eyebrow. She laughed. It was the first time she had laughed in days and it kind of surprised her. Dean gave her his most cocky grin. "Yea, I'm good." He remarked. She had missed that arrogant face and it reminded of her the time he'd gotten shot down so thoroughly by that college girl he'd tried to pick up back when they were high school. She lost it. Seeing the look on Dean Winchester's face after being dismissed that way had caused her and Sam to nearly pee their pants from laughter. Dean didn't really know what she laughing at, but it sounded so good that he couldn't help but join in. He hadn't really been able to laugh properly in a few months, with the pending death sentence and all.

By the end of the night their stomachs hurt from laughing so hard. Thoughts of 'Jackass Soldier Boy' (as Dean had taken to referring to Riley in his head) no longer bothered Buffy. They talked about everything. Recent battles, funny things that had happened in the past, sad things that had happened in the past, regular everyday life things. It always amazed him that he could have such a good time with such a hot chick without even touching her. Although, of course, they did end up touching eventually. Not in the hungry way that Buffy had opened up with, just in simple ways. He'd brush her hair back and she'd play with his hand. He was constantly finding a reason to kiss some part of her. Shoulder, forehead, ankle. It didn't really matter. He wasn't happy about the fact that she thought she wasn't capable of having a relationship but he was happy that Riley was gone. Maybe he would get more nights like this before he had to go.

That was where her dream had picked up. Him putting a favorite movie of theirs in, Tank Girl, and then rejoining her on the couch to bend down and kiss her knee. She moved in to him. Her back against his side and his arms securely around her waist. They laughed their way through Tank Girl. Of course the dream before that hadn't been as serene.

It had been the dream she'd been having every night since she got back, which featured Dean cutting people into ribbons very, very slowly. She shook that dream away and let the other one replay as she got dressed for the day.

* * *

When Willow got back from class she was fidgety. In other words she was hiding something. If Tara hadn't come home to pull her into their room for the talk they needed to have she probably would've ended up telling Buffy everything right then. Buffy had busied herself with chores all day allowing numbness to creep back in and push out the memory of that night with Dean so long ago. This place was more and more like hell each day. Wasn't it supposed to get better with time?

'Maybe I should call him' She thought, 'No. If he wanted to be here he would be. Willow said she called everyone and she couldn't have possibly left Dean and Sam out.

Sam! She could call Sam right? Maybe Dean was just being his usual stand off-ish self but Sam sure as hell didn't have a reason not to call her. She had been DEAD, and Sam Winchester seriously didn't take the time to call? The boy who had called her faithfully once every two weeks to check in and let her know they were still alive? This wasn't like him at all. Maybe Willow had forgotten? But even if she had, Dawn would have been on the phone immediately, any reason to talk to Sam, a crush even bigger than Xander, was enough for her.

Buffy reached for the phone at the same instant Dawn opened the front door. Sam forgotten for the moment she glanced at the clock. 3:30 p.m. Well at least she wasn't skipping.

"How was school?" she asked in the motherly way she'd adopted ever since their mom had died.

"Ya know, just school. Where's Willow?" Dawn asked as Willow and Tara came downstairs. Tara looking a bit annoyed and Willow looking grateful for the interruption. Dawn frowned. They'd been fighting about the magic again. But that would have to wait. They had to tell Buffy now or it would be put off more and Dawn knew Buffy's reaction would just get worse the longer it took this news to reach her. "Buffy there's something we need to tell you," Dawn said before Willow could stall. "Let's go into the living room and sit ok?" Dawn led the three of them to the living room and took the seat on the couch next to Buffy.

Buffy figured they were going to give her some sort of bad news but honestly she didn't see how it would affect her. She had been pulled out of heaven. You didn't really top that.

"Dawn, um should we wait for Xander?" Tara asked. She'd called him earlier at work and he said he'd be over as soon as he got off. Now she was thinking that maybe Buffy wouldn't want so many people around. After all she hadn't really been that social lately. Giles said he'd be on stand by for whatever was needed of him.

How could he go back to England after this? There was really no telling how Buffy would react, and if she did something stupid (like try to make a deal to get Dean out) Giles figured he needed to be there.

"Guys just tell me. I'm not going get all insane-o girl on you."

"It's Dean" Dawn blurted. They had to get this over with and she just wasn't sure how to be delicate. After that she let Willow take over. Willow explained everything. Sam dying, Dean making a deal, and finally Dean going to hell. Buffy's face went blank. The Winchester boys had been in trouble and they had hidden it from her. She calculated in her head. This meant that the day Dean had come to see her about the fake job he'd had about 7 months to live.

"Did any of you know about this deal before?" she asked in an emotionless voice when Willow had finished.

"N-no of course n-not Buffy." Tara stammered.

"We only just found out when we contacted Bobby to let them know you were alive. They didn't want to burden us after… your death, so they've been dealing on their own." Willow explained, hoping that Buffy would understand why they didn't want to tell her. Buffy just sat there unable to say anything. She wasn't angry at them. There really wasn't time to be angry at them. She needed to process the fact that Dean was in hell.

Sam had died. Dean was in hell. They didn't even think to tell her. Dean was going to die and he didn't say a word about it. He'd even gone out of his way to make _her_ feel better. Dean was in hell and he'd known he was going to be there. He hadn't told her.

"Buffy?" Willow's voice came through over the thoughts. "Buffy maybe you should call Sam? We told him that you needed some time to adjust after being in a hell dimension. He doesn't know… about where you really were yet."

She'd already seen Angel, and she thought that would be hard, but it was going to be nothing compared to seeing Sam with the loss of Dean hanging over both of them.

One of her best friends. They'd kept her from him when he needed her. Did he have anyone besides Bobby with him?

"Buffy please don't go comatose again." Willow cut through her thoughts once more.

"Sam could really use us right now, Buffy." Dawn interjected, "I've been to see him and he didn't look so great. He had some weird girl with him." Dawn was clearly hurt by this information. Her precious Sam with another girl.

"Okay. We'll leave tomorrow. Do you know where he is?" Buffy asked proving that she was still consious as she looked around at the three faces observing her, "Never mind. I'll just call him." She said as she stood up. She grabbed the cordless phone as she walked up the stairs to her room for a little privacy.

"Well at least she didn't go into that weird coma thing again." Tara said when they heard the door to Buffy's room close.

"Honestly I wouldn't blame her at this point. I pulled her out of heaven and now she has to find out that Dean is in hell." Willow responded as Tara took her hand, clearly forgetting the fight they had been having before coming downstairs. Willow laced her fingers with Tara's grateful to have a break from the fighting. She needed to figure out a way to fix things with her and Tara without using magic, but for now it would have to do.

"WE pulled her out of heaven. Not just you. It was a decision made by all of us."

'Cept for me' Dawn thought, then out loud she said, "I'm gunna go to the Magic Box to see if Giles needs help with anything. He asked me to let him know how she reacted. He also said something about needing to monitor her, so make sure she doesn't try to… do a spell or something, I guess." As she picked her back pack up and made for the door.

"Okay, but call as soon as you get to the shop and don't talk to any strangers." Willow called as Dawn left. Tara laughed.

"Isn't she a bit old to be getting the 'strangers speech'?"

"Well yea, but I always feel the need to add a little motherly extra now a days." Willow told her making her giggle some more.

* * *

Sam woke up to the sound of "Barbie Girl" being played. One look around the room told him that Ruby had left already. He groaned and looked for the source of the music and saw his phone lit up on the nightstand next to him. He lunged for it eagerly trying not to get his hopes up and when he saw 'Buffy Home' displayed on the screen he answered.

"Hello?" he said in a voice that was a little scratchy from sleep and incredibly anxious with the possibility of who was on the other end. There wasn't an answer for the longest ten seconds of his life. Until finally:

"Sam?" Buffy asked sounding like she was about to cry, "Did I wake you up? Cus I can call ba-"

"Don't you even think about it." Sam replied trying to get control of his voice, "Buffy Anne Summers don't you dare hang up that phone…. I—" then he went silent. What was he supposed to say? Nothing seemed adequate. He just got up and started packing and getting dressed.

"Uh Sam, what are you doing? Are you going to finish that thought?"

"Buffy I can't even begin to—holy crap it's actually you. I'm on my way alright? I should be there by tomorrow morning."

"Sam Winchester I am angry with you. You DIED!" She finally burst out. 'Yep that's her' Sam thought and then he waited for the inevitable 'you should have told me' speech'. "Dean is _dead._" She said a little softer. She couldn't form anymore coherent words after that. It was all she could do to keep from breaking down. There would plenty of time for that when Sam got there. They would grieve together.

She heard a car start and knew that Sam was already in the impala. "Can we meet half way or something?" she asked anxious to see him.

"Ha! Not a chance. Can't risk you dying again before I get to see you." He attempted to joke about her driving, "Besides I'll be there before you know it. Don't do anything until I get there alright?" She didn't have to ask what he meant. She knew he was talking about trying to bring Dean back. "Trust me, I've already tried making every deal I could so please just wait so that we can talk."

"Okay." She replied weakly. She'd been going over every possible way to get Dean out. Now she realized it was pointless, of course Sam would have tried everything already. Maybe when he got there the two of them plus the scoobie gang could come up with a solution together. She would wait. "Hurry please."

"I am." He said and they hung up. At least Buffy was out of hell. Together he knew they could find a way to get Dean out as well. 'Ruby' He thought suddenly. Crap! He forgot to leave Ruby a note. He called and left her a voicemail hoping she wouldn't be angry with him. It's not like he could have waited. Buffy was basically his sister and if the past few years had taught him anything it was that family was number one.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I'm not doing this for profit.

I'm not entirely interested in playing out every single story line step by step with-in the gang (willow and tara for instance), but if you'd like to see more of certain characters or of a certain story line just let me know. Reviews are very much appreciated.

* * *

Chapter 3

Dawn mulled over Buffy's reaction as she walked to the shop. Buffy hadn't really shown any sort of emotion and Dawn really hoped that Sam would be coming to see them soon. Surely the younger Winchester would be able to bring something back to life within Buffy. _And if not, the fact that Buffy is alive will at least make _him_ happy, _Dawn thought. Sam and Dean had both been there when Buffy had given her life to save the world.

Dean had bawled and Sam's expression had been stone, like they had switched personalities. No one had known what the brother's had been going through. Dean must have been running short on time then, and the fact that they came to help Buffy was ridiculous! They had their own work to do and they should've been doing it.

Dawn kicked a trash can. _If they had just worked out their own problem, Dean might be here when we freaken need him!_ Dawn was angry with them now. It was easier than being sad.

She wanted to hit something. She wanted to make someone feel pain. She wanted to track down that demon Dean had made the deal with! She wanted to— Just then she opened the Magic Box door with a little too much force and sent it slamming into the wall. The crash, along with the look Giles gave her, immediately sobered her up.

"Sorry." She mumbled weakly as Anya came rushing from behind the counter.

"You could have broken the door!" Anya exclaimed in the shrill voice of hers.

"I'm sorry." Dawn repeated trying to avoid Giles's eyes.

"It's alright Dawn. Things have been…" Giles paused as he tried to find the word to describe exactly what things had been, "difficult. I expect things have been especially hard on you. What with having to constantly adjust to new situations and authorities." He was referring to the fact that's Dawn's legal guardians had changed 3 times in the past year. "If you ever need to, ah, talk I can certainly lend you an ear." He told her as Anya pouted and went back to dusting shelves. She didn't like when people hurt her store.

"Uh thanks Mr. Giles. I'm okay right now. It was just…. building up on the way over. We just told Buffy."

"Oh. How did she…"

"I don't know. I mean obviously it wasn't happy fun time, but she didn't really seem like anything. Almost emotionless. When I left she had been up in her room calling Sam."

"Oh? Well that should be good. Maybe having Sam around will help." Sam had always been sensible and Giles was sure that he would be able to talk Buffy out of anything stupid regarding getting Dean out of hell.

"Yea, well I guess we'll find out. Sam doesn't even know Buffy wasn't in hell. And what if he doesn't come? What if he's out on a job and can't?" Dawn was a little frantic now. She missed Sam, what if that other girl had him all wrapped up so that he was just having too much fun to pull himself away. They hadn't seemed especially cozy when Dawn had been to visit him, but the Ruby girl had kept looking at Sam like he was a piece of meat.

Dawn stopped herself. This was Sam, and no matter what he went through he would always come running when a Summers girl needed him. No way would he let something like a horny girlfriend distract him, and the fact that he had been their through the fight with Glory proved that no job was big enough to keep him away.

"Dawn, we'll deal with each thing as it comes. If Sam doesn't come then we'll deal with it then." Giles said breaking her from her own thoughts. If Sam didn't show, then Giles wasn't sure if he could leave. Yes, Buffy needed to learn to stand on her own two feet but he couldn't risk her doing something stupid to get Dean back. He might need to give Sam a call himself. Even if he didn't stay indefinitely, Giles had to go to England to converse with the council and the coven to find out what he could about Dean's situation. He would need someone rational here to look over things. Sam might be in pain, but he was still Sam and therefore the best candidate for the job. Giles resolved to call him later that day.

"Do you mind if I do my homework here?" Dawn asked cutting off further talk of the entire situation. She just couldn't take anymore today.

"Yes of course. Just let me know if you need any help." Then Giles went back to doing inventory, while Dawn went to call Willow, after that she sat down at the round table and got out her math book.

The phone rang and Anya ran over to answer it.

"This is Anya. May I sell you something today?" Giles gave her and exasperated look. They'd talked about proper phone answering techniques. "Giles? Yes he's right here." Anya said in a disappointed voice before shoving the phone at Giles. "Why do people who aren't customers call the shop phone?" She grumbled.

"Hello, this is Rupert Giles…. Oh hello, I was actually going to call you later on…. No actually right now isn't the best time... Excellent! I'll call you back in an hour or two." He hung up the phone a bit relieved. Sam was already on his way there, and once Anya left for the day and Dawn got done with homework he'd call Sam back. Hopefully he'd be up for the job of looking after the scoobies while Giles was gone.

He trusted Tara, but she was too timid. They needed an organized well voiced leader. Someone to make sure they didn't go looking for more trouble than they already had. Xander had summoned a demon for goodness sake! And he had no idea what they were thinking when they pulled that stunt with Buffy. Or maybe he did. After all he'd lost her too.

* * *

Dawn got home just before dark. Any later and Buffy would have sent out a search party. Dawn had decided that stressing Buffy out was the last thing she wanted to do. They'd all been through a lot. She'd just keep out of the way and not put them through anymore.

When Dawn walked through the door Buffy raised an eyebrow at her. "Cutting it a little close don't you think?" She was already in her patrolling clothes.

"Nothing but vamps tonight?" Dawn asked as she noted her sister was only carrying a stake.

"Nothing that we know of, but if other things do show I'll just get improvisee" Meaning she'd probably just beat it to death with its own arm. Buffy wasn't in the mood for anything other than simple slays tonight. Sam was going to be there in the morning and if she really had to think about the proper way to kill something she just wasn't sure she could. All she wanted was 'stake and poof' tonight.

* * *

She got her wish that night. The vampires had all just kind of crossed paths with her. She didn't even have to look for them. She went through a few motions and ended up with 4 piles of dust.

After putting her coat away she went to the stairs. Looking up to the hallway that led to her room she shuddered. The thought of going up there just wasn't pleasant. She closed her eyes and saw Dean.

He was sitting on those steps just waiting for her to come home from patrol. "Hey babe." he winked. God his winks were perfect! She'd just smiled up at him. It was the summer before college and she was completely unburdened. The "Angel drama" was over and she hadn't been looking for anything new. No school, no boyfriend, and somehow no mother or Dawn in the house. Thinking about it she realized Dawn actually hadn't existed then, but the memory was still there. She dismissed that thought to continue her memory.

He came down the steps to greet her with a kiss that left her stunned. "Mmmmm" she sighed, "Hey why is your hair wet?" she asked pulling back after she'd put her hand on the back of his neck.

"Oh, shower. Sammy and I just got done with a messy job not far from here." He informed her adding that beautiful smile of his, "He's taking his right now."

"Ha, I bet he wishes he would've gone first. You take forever." Buffy said while she pulled him a little closer to her.

"Oh dang. I forgot about that. We usually stay at motels and they don't really run out of hot water. He'll get over it." He said as he bent down for another kiss.

"I missed you." She breathed between kisses.

"Honey you have no idea." He practically growled. A lot of the time he enjoyed being on the road with Sam. He was meant for it, this demon hunting life. But then he'd come to Sunnydale and find this waiting for him, this amazing girl, and he'd think 'Man, destiny sucks'. Even in the days before they kissed he was always elated to see her. You didn't get to keep a lot of close friends in this business.

Buffy broke the kiss when she heard someone clear his throat. They both turned to see Sam with a towel wrapped around his waist. She ran up to hug him and almost knocked him over. He hugged her back tight and had a genuine smile on his face. Dean grunted behind them and called up "Hey you want to put a shirt on Sammy? Oh and maybe stop trying to steal my girl?"

"Yea whatever Dean." Sam rolled his eyes and pulled away to go get his clothes from the duffle in the bathroom. "Thanks for leaving me that 30 seconds of hot water by the way!" Sam yelled from the bathroom.

"Anything for you little brother!" Dean yelled back smug grin set on his arrogant face. It was Buffy's turn to roll her eyes.

"Play nice boys." She turned and went back down the steps to Dean. "How'd you guys get in anyway?"

"Your mom gave us a key a while back. Told dad we were welcome anytime we wanted to stop by. She even told dad that we were a good influence on you." Buffy looked astonished. The Winchesters had been the reason she'd needed to burn down the gym at her school. Dean thought trapping all the vamps inside was a good idea but then things had gotten out of hand and in a pinch she'd just trapped them and burned it. Dean had loved that part.

Joyce hadn't even known the Winchesters existed then. She met John at Sunnydale High the day she'd enrolled Buffy. John was enrolling his own children and she thought it was nice that Buffy wouldn't be the only new comer. She'd even invited the Winchesters over for dinner to try and help Buffy make new friends. Joyce was delighted when the 3 kids got along so well. Of course she didn't know that they'd known each other for about 2 years already.

"Alrighty then. Let's get you guys some sleeping bags and make some room on the living room floor." Buffy tried to hide her smile as she walked to closet.

"Um we... Ya know- I was um," Dean stammered trying to get the words out before sighing into resignation, "Yea fine let's get the freaken sleeping bags." Buffy laughed.

"I'm teasing you. Of course you'll be sleeping in my room," she gave him a coy look. "Since when do you go all stammery anyway? I thought for sure you'd be all 'Baby, I need some love tonight'" Buffy gave her best deep manly voice.

"I'm not freaken Louie Armstrong!"

"Yea that was the worst Dean impression ever," Sam chimed in as he came around the corner. "It's more like 'Buffy, baby, I need to be able to hold you tonight, and ya know if other things happen then they happen'" Sam winked and sucked in his cheeks giving his best posing model expression.

"HAHAHAHA! Oh perfect!" Buffy was in hysterics and soon Sam was too.

"Yea you guys are a couple of flipping comedians. Anyway I thought you were serious and I didn't want to get hit tonight." Dean sulked as he yanked a sleeping bag out of the closet and went to find a spot on the living room floor. Sam and Buffy looked at each other knowingly. Dean wanted to be persuaded into Buffy's bed now.

"You can sleep in mom's room if you want Sam. She's out of town till Monday. You could also sleep in Dawn's but there's no telling what she'll do if she finds you sleeping in her bed in the morning."

"Dually noted. I'll stick with your mom's room." He threw a look to Dean in the living room. "I would say let's stay up and chat, but I actually am tired and it looks like you're going to have to work to get him back."

"Oh, not even." Buffy laughed. Getting Dean to her room would never be hard. She sighed theatrically and then said loudly "I guess I'll just have to get someone else to model my new underwear sets for. I'm not sure which I like best." They heard Dean stir but he didn't get up. Sam decided to help out.

"Well I guess if you really need help, I can always take a look." Dean was up faster than a vampire trying to escape the sun. He glared at Sam, opened his mouth to speak, then just grabbed Buffy's hand and started pulling her up the stairs.

Buffy opened her eyes. No, she couldn't even sleep in that room tonight.

* * *

Sam pulled up to the curb and shut the engine off. He sat and stared at the house for a moment. It was 4:00 a.m. and he just wasn't sure what to do. Call? No that would just wake up the house, and right now he didn't want the big reunion, just a quiet minute with his friend. His friend that had been dead until recently, he slammed a fist into the steering wheel and was immediately sorry. Hurting the Impala was the last thing he wanted to do. Sure it wasn't _his_ baby but it had been Dean's and Dean would want it unharmed when he got back.

After wrestling with the options for a few minutes he decided to walk in. Sure he risked startling Buffy and getting his ass kicked, but he could take a punch or two before she realized it was him.

Once at the door he picked out his key to the Summer's house and unlocked the door. He stepped inside, shut it behind him, looked around and saw a figure curled up on the couch to his left. He snuck quietly closer to realize Buffy's small body asleep there. Just then she whimpered and Sam hurried to kneel by her side. "Buffy?" he whispered as he gently shook her shoulder.

"Sam." She murmured, but he wasn't quite sure she was awake. He didn't want her to be having a bad dream, but judging by the dark circles under her eyes she hadn't been getting much sleep lately. So he decided just to let her sleep. If she woke up screaming he'd be there.

It was good to see her. He thought about going to get himself a blanket but he didn't want to let her out of his sight. No telling when she'd be gone again. He sat down on the other end of the couch. Maybe he'd get an hour or 2 of sleep before the draining meeting with scoobies that was scheduled to happen in the morning.

Buffy shifted and stretched her leg out pushing Sam to the edge of the couch. Her other leg stretched across Sam's lap. He wasn't sure if he should move her other leg across his lap or if he should just move. Before he could decide Buffy brought her leg up and then down hard (not as hard as she could though) on his thigh.

"Agh!" He groaned.

"That's for being secret guy." Buffy said her eyes still closed. Sam's eyes watered and at first he thought it was because of the blow she'd landed, but when he looked at Buffy he saw tears slipping out of her eyes that were now tightly closed against them. The weight of the past year came crashing down on him. He tried to smile at her and be strong but then she sat up and pulled him into a hug. "How bout we not pretend that this doesn't mean the world to either of us?" She suggested and Sam nodded.

They allowed themselves the tears that had been building up. Buffy just couldn't hold them back form Sam like she did the others. Knowing Dean being in hell had to be harder on him than being on earth was for Buffy. She thought about telling him the truth but how could she? Sam was suffering enough. Everyone was suffering enough. She didn't need to cause more.

"I'm sorry, Sam." Buffy just didn't know what else to say.

"Buffy you're going through the same thing I am. Maybe worse. I'm the one who should be sorry! I should've been checking on Willow and the gang. I knew she'd try something and I knew something would go wrong but I wanted you back so much and I was busy trying to make deals for Dea—"

"Sam, what do you mean something would go wrong?" Buffy cut him off, "Nothing went wrong I'm back and I'm whole." Aside from the piece of her that was with Dean.

"Giles told me." Sam's voice was low and filled with the pain of trying to maintain control. Was she really about to try and hide it from him? Buffy called this his tsunami voice. Everything was being pulled up into one giant mass and it would let loose a gigantic tidal wave of all the anger and pain he'd built up. She had to do something before the tidal wave hit.

"Sam," she went for the direct approach, "if you're going to yell please do so into a pillow or something, because otherwise you'll wake up Dawn and she's going to want your attention and I don't feel like sharing right now." He didn't smile like she'd hoped but he did work himself down to a calmer state. It was a minute before he could speak again.

"We're going to get Dean back." He said. Buffy looked at his face to find resolve. It was a little scary in the younger Winchester. He was the calm one. The one who didn't do brash things. That look suggested that he was going to do whatever it took.

"We will Sammy." At that Sam out then, and relaxed himself.

"Why were you on the couch anyway?" he asked her. Buffy was a little embarrassed.

"Um the bed has been bringing back too many memories lately and I've been dreaming about Dean…"

"Oh, come on!" He laughed and threw a couch pillow at her.

"You should get some sleep." Buffy said suddenly. "Giles wants us at the shop early tomorrow, or today I guess, for a meeting."

"Ugh I forgot. Maybe I'll just stay up till then and sleep after."

"Well maybe we could just skip it…" Buffy responded with hope in her voice.

"Ha yea like _I'm_ going to skip a Giles-meeting." Buffy sighed. Why was Sam always so reliable? Looking at her face, Sam's heart broke. For a split second she showed all the weight and sorrow of the past 7 years. It only showed for a moment before she recomposed it to the blank slate of numbness she'd gotten good at. If he hadn't been Sam he would've missed it.

"Wanna go to my room? The bed's big enough, and I might be able to handle it better if someone's in there with me." For them sharing a bed would be nicely platonic. Sam cringed.

"Um well maybe before you said that thing about the bed bringing back memories, but now that is all I'll be able to think about. I'll just take a seeping bag." Buffy laughed, punched him lightly, then got up to get a sleeping bag and pillow. Sam followed.

"Yea that's probably best anyway. I'm not sure what Dawn would do if she saw—Ya know getting a sleeping bag is a one person job." She commented when she realized Sam was right behind her. Sam looked down at the ground.

"I'm just not comfortable with letting you out of my sight right now." He mumbled. Buffy put her arms around him and laid her head on his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere." Then softly, "I miss Dean"

"When we get him back I'm going to tell him you wanted me to sleep in your bed with you." Sam jumped away to avoid the smack Buffy aimed at his arm. Both of them laughed as they thought of Dean's face when he heard that. After that they didn't say much as they arranged themselves for sleep.

Buffy took the couch knowing that Sam would be offended if she even tried to offer it to him. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Please don't try to make anymore deals for Dean. It wouldn't exactly be good to have him back and have you be in hell. Plus he'd kill me if I let that happen."

"No he wouldn't." Sam said in a very quiet voice. "Buff did he ever tell you?"

"No. Honestly Sam." Buffy sounded exasperated, "I was a girl. I was one of many girls in Dean Winchester's life."

"Whatever Buffy. You know it was more than that with you."

"Yea, but what's the point in thinking about it. He isn't here right now, and he never said it so I'm just not going to dwell on it."

"Okay, let's just get some sleep then."

* * *

Up next: What if Sam was involved in Tabula Rosa?

Let me know what you think


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Sorry it's kind of short I've just so busy and haven't been able to finish it. I figured I'd polish up what I could and make it a shorter version of the chapter I wanted. It's not really my best work either. I hope you enjoy it a little at least.

* * *

Chapter 4

Dawn trod groggily down the stairs in search of breakfast. She thought about waking Buffy up as she passed her on the couch, but she wasn't screaming and she could probably use the sleep so Dawn just left her there.

"Morning Sam," she greeted the Winchester as she entered the kitchen where he was making coffee. She went to the fridge to retrieve milk for her lucky charms. _Wait_ _Sam?!_ She whirled around to see him leaning on the counter with a large goofy smile on his face. Dawn smiled back. Her Sam was here. Looking at him she felt loads better. She loved that he could always do that to her.

"Um do I get a hug?" He asked stepping toward her. She just laughed and threw her arms wide. He stepped into them and lifted her off her feet. When he put her down he planted a big kiss on her forehead.

"I'm glad you're here Sam. You're her oldest friend. She's…" Dawn just didn't know how to continue.

"I know. Um listen I wanted to apologize for Ruby." Sam cleared his throat. He'd thought about calling Dawn after her visit, but he wanted to create some distance between them. He couldn't have her anywhere near the danger he was putting himself in, he owed that much to Buffy.

"Oh uh it's cool." It most certainly was not cool, but it's not like it had been Sam's fault.

"No it's really not. She was really rude and I don't understand why."

"Some girls just get jealous over silly things, I guess." Dawn looked away. Like Ruby would have any reason to be jealous of Dawn. Sam saw Dawn as a little sister.

"I guess I had been talking about you a lot. You want some coffee?" He'd been talking about her? Dawn got a little light headed before she could compose herself.

"Nah I'm going to stick with O.J. this morning. I can make my special breakfast burrito if you want?"

"Haha! I don't think so. The last time I let you cook something, I ended up with a stomach ache and you got a second degree burn."

"Well you didn't have to eat it." Dawn grumbled, but Sam had taken her left wrist in his hand and was now examining the scar the burn had left. Again she couldn't think straight. For his own part Sam noticed that it felt nice to be touching her. Dawn had grown up quite a bit in the last year. He dropped her wrist and moved toward the pantry.

"I'll just make pancakes. Everyone enjoys pancakes."

"Mmmm sounds good." Dawn replied thoughts of lucky charms forgotten, "I can make scrambled eggs." Those were always a safe option.

"If you promise not to put chocolate in them."

"That was one time! And they didn't taste too bad." Sam gave her a look of skepticism, "Okay they were terrible, but you never know till you try." Sam laughed. She was so awesome. Maybe if they got through the Dean being in hell and Buffy being in heaven,_ And she graduates high school_ Sam could almost hear Dean's voice in his mind, maybe if they got through all that he'd ask her out. Also if he survived the beating that Buffy would give him for even thinking about it.

Just then Willow and Tara entered the kitchen and Sam was snapped out of those thoughts. Willow had read minds before. He greeted and hugged them both. They all ate in semi-silence, with slight small talk inserted in between long pauses. First thing in the morning wasn't always the best time for deep meaningful, haven't-seen-you-since-our friend-died type conversations. Buffy woke up, got dressed and left without really speaking to anyone, which had Sam concerned. She was more off than he had initially thought.

Dawn was actually relieved when everyone left the kitchen and stuck her with the clean up. She really didn't mind as long as there wasn't so much tension packed into one room. She would have a little time to work through some of her anxious thoughts.

Sam went for a run, Tara was showering, and Willow was trying to convince herself that a week without magic would be breeze. Her shaking hands told her otherwise.

Once Dawn had the kitchen spotless she retreated to her room to get ready for the day. When she, Tara, and Sam were ready to go Willow was just getting out of the shower. She told them to go ahead and she'd catch up.

When they were gone Willow found her little bag of flowers. Using magic to get herself ready didn't hurt anybody. Tara was being silly. Buffy and Sam didn't deserve to live with the pain they were going through. They'd both given their own lives to the fight for this world and they had suffered enough.

* * *

"But you'll come back right? When you find the answer you'll come back." Buffy inquired anxiously. Having Dean back would be amazing, sure, but she didn't want to lose another member of her little family. She wanted to keep all of the people that she loved in one area. That made it easier to protect them. The problem was it wasn't her choice to make.

"If I find a solution I will come back to help see it through, but I'm not sure if I'll be staying long after that."

"Why can't you just send them an e-mail or something? Can't the damn council pick up a phone?" she grumbled at him.

"Buffy it doesn't work that way and you know it. Sam has agreed to stay here in my absence, but he's not a crutch Buffy. He's simply here to ah…"

"Keep the gang from doing more stupid things?"

"Well um yes." He let out a short sigh, "Buffy there are big things coming. We all need to go where we're needed. You need to stay here and make a stand, and I need to go to England. You have to understand the depth of the situation. Once Dean is returned, if he returns, he might not be able to stay here. He may, very well, be needed elsewhere."

"Whatever Giles. Can we just be done talking about it now?" Before Giles could respond she was off the bench and moving to the training dummy to work out some frustration. Giles wanted to continue but thought better of it when he saw the round house kick she administered. He decided to go out and work on shop inventory while they waited for everyone else to arrive.

Once he was gone Buffy punched the dummy once more before letting her mind drift off to where it was happiest.

Dean stepped out from behind the dummy. "What is your problem today? It's like you're not even trying."

"Whatever! I could've broken your rib through that thing!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Well yea, but I'm not talking about your strength. It's your technique. It's way sloppy, like you want someone to kick your ass." Dean had been trying to ignore the fact that Buffy's form was way off, but the last punch made it look like DAWN could've taken her down with a simple side step and leg sweep. They were already half an hour into the work-out. She really should have been warmed up by now. "Why the hell are you holding your arm like that anyway?" he asked finally stepping forward to look at the arm that she'd been keeping cradled up against her body. Buffy stepped back and looked away. She didn't need Dean to be all concerned. She'd be fine.

He wasn't having any of her strong and silent bull crap. He raised one eyebrow stepped forward and took her arm without giving her an option. She winced as he examined it. "Have you even put ice on this?" Dean was wondering what was wrong with Buffy. Whatever it was it had to be big, she didn't let stupid things get to her this way. Her arm didn't look that bad, just a little swollen. Like ice and maybe some Advil would be all it needed. Buffy shook her head. After Sunday had beaten her down Buffy felt weak. She hadn't even really thought about repairing the damage.

"Alright that's it, what's up? If we had been sparring I would have wiped the floor with you, and now you're just neglecting wounds?" Dean had released the arm and reached up to cradle her face with his hand. His eyes searched hers for some sort of answer. What was wrong with his girl?

"Would you please quit looking at me that way?" Buffy jerked her face out of his reach and Dean let his hand fall to his side. "I'm fine, okay? I just… I'm fine." She finished, shooting him and annoyed expression. When she saw Giles he had indicated that she needed to learn to start doing things on her own and that's what she intended to do. She was the slayer after all. She had to grow up. Why did Dean always have to baby her?

Dean had dealt with rejection before and it hadn't really mattered. They were just girls. But this was Buffy, and his pride told him to walk out of the house without looking back. Since when did they not tell each other everything? Being there for one another was what made this life bearable. "No. Not okay. I'm a little pissed right now. Why are you shutting _me_ out?" he sighed. Confused and not sure what to do about the girl standing in front of him he decided to just get the ice for her. "I'll be right back."

Dean turned and went up her basement steps. He hated that it bothered him when she pulled away. Once in the kitchen he leaned on the counter. Why on earth was this girl getting to him this way? It wasn't like he couldn't just find another at the bronze later. He took a deep breath and the answer hit him. "No." Dean groaned, "Nooooo." He couldn't be in love with Buffy. What was the point of being in love with a girl? It's not like he could stick around for any long period of time. Especially not one long enough to get married or start a family.

Then there was the fact that it was Buffy. She's the slayer, she has her own duties. Damn it! She kept flashing through his mind. Her smile, her hair, her fingers. The way she fought. It was all so fantastic. He groaned again. _It doesn't matter. Not like she could ever fall in love with a guy like me anyway. She's too classy. I'm freaking lucky she puts up with me at all. _He went about putting an ice pack together, and tried not to think about how she had jerked away. Right now he just needed to take care of her and set his pride down.

When he came back she was standing at the bottom of the steps looking like she might cry. He took a step toward her and reached out for the arm. She didn't resist when he took it. "I'm out of my league now." She said quietly. Dean just held the ice pack in place and let her take her time. "I handled everything in high school, but I'm in the real world now and it's too much." Dean ducked down so that he could her face. When he saw she was serious he just couldn't hold back his laughter. Buffy pulled her arm away and pouted.

Dean just put his hands on his knees and kept on laughing. "Okay why are you laughing?! You got mad because I wouldn't tell you and now you're laughing!?" Dean immediately stopped and straightened himself up. Buffy opened her mouth to say something else but his lips were on hers before she could get a word out. When he broke the kiss he kept his face close to hers. She tried to pull away but he held her fast. "Dean please. Okay? I don't need your pity." Dean let out a short laugh.

"Buffy I do not pity you in any way, shape, or form. Got it? I'm sorry I laughed, but come on, really? You're in the real world now? Buff you have been handling the real world since you became the slayer. You died! You destroyed the mayor, killed Angel, and fought on the _hell mouth_ for the last three years. Most people won't see one fiftieth of the real world that you have. You're Buffy freaken Summers and you are the strongest girl I know. Plus you have a fantastic ass." He finished with his trademark grin.

Buffy had the beginnings of a smile on her lips, "My middle name is Anne, thank you." He laughed. _That's my girl._ He thought as he planted one last kiss on her. If she never loved him back then at least he'd have these small moments to hold onto for the rest of his life. He was pretty sure they could keep him going through anything. Though at that time he didn't know he'd have to go to hell someday.

"Now what did this to your arm?" Buffy looked at her feet.

"A vampire." His reaction was exactly what she expected.

"You let a _vampire _beat you down?!"

"Well not LET but… yea."

"You at least killed it right?"

"Ummmm…" Dean snorted.

"Never mind. Let's just go take care of it." And they did. Afterwards they met up with Sam, Willow, Xander, and Oz at the bronze and had a small celebration. Giles even showed up. It was a great night. The night Buffy realized that whatever came at her she would face and defeat it. And that she would do so with the support of her amazing friends. It was also the night she realized she was truly in love with Dean. _It's a good thing Dean Winchester doesn't fall in love. _She thought. _A relationship would never fit into our crappy destinies._

They laughed and danced. Even Sam, who had been a gloomy puppy lately, had a good time. Dean had held her close every chance he got and she breathed in his scent and let herself enjoy being near him. She would just try to enjoy the times when he was near and forget about the times when he wasn't.

"Buffy? Buff… everyone's out here." Xander was in the doorway to the training room looking at Buffy with worried eyes. He'd said her name 3 times and she'd just stood there.

"Oh. Right." She mentally shook herself out of her memories. She followed him out the door to see the gang assembled and ready to start the meeting. Sam looked at her questioningly but she avoided his eyes. At that moment looking at Sam caused her too much pain. She could have saved him. Why couldn't they have told her?

Giles opened his mouth to begin when Spike burst through door smoking. Everyone turned to look at him.

"Holey moley." Anya said taking in the ugly brown suit and toboggan.

"You need to give me asylum." Spike gasped as he cooled down.

"I'll say." Xander retorted after giving his outfit a once over.

"No need to get cute. It's a disguise. Happens there's a bloke I'd rather not see just now. You met him I believe," he addressed Buffy who rolled her eyes. She'd blocked that part of last night from her memory, "Toothy bloke with the baby seal breath. And what do we have here?" Spike interrupted himself as he noticed Sam standing next to Dawn, "Sammy boy is back in town!" Dawn felt Sam tense like he was ready to pounce and she placed a hand on his arm asking him to let it go. It wouldn't do any good to start a fight in the shop. He looked at her and let out a breath, before taking her hand and squeezing. After that he let their hands drop but didn't let go. If they kept touching he would be able to remain cool. Spike smirked at having gotten a small rise out of Sam.

Giles cut in before Spike could say anything else, "I'll jump to the chase. I'm going back to England tomorrow. I need to find out what I can about Dean and if there's a way to retrieve him."

"But now? You can't just go now. Not after- everything." Xander tried to argue the decision. Giles couldn't just leave them all here. Anya asked about the shop and Sam was just about to interject when Buffy suddenly got up and started walking toward the door without looking at anyone. She just couldn't take it anymore.

"I can't do this. I just- I need to-"

"Buffy! Listen." Willow stopped her from leaving, attempting to keep her until the spell took effect, "I know this must be awful for you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what we-"

"Sorry. Everybody's sorry! Dean is dead. Worse! He's in hell, and all I can think about is how _I_ got pulled out of heaven. I know you guys are just trying to help but it's just- it's too much. And I can't take it anymore. I miss Dean and it feels like I'm dying! If you guys understood-"And with that everyone collapsed.


	5. Chapter 5

Terribly sorry it's taken so long to post. I was busy with finals and what not, but I should have alot more free time now.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

I would like to change Dawn's age to 17 right now. She's a lot more mature then Season 6's actual Dawn. Also Dean and Sam are both a little younger and Sam hadn't actually graduated college. It's not really that important to the plot of this chapter, but i've been trying to work the time frame through and this puts Sam as graduating college and moving on to grad school in about two years, so for this story he hadn't yet graduated. It also makes it a little more concievable for Dawn and Sam to be together.

Enjoy and let me know if there's something you would like to see written in to this story or if you'd like a different story written. I'd like to take on a few challenges because I'm on break and I have alot of time to kill. Anything from Supernatural, Buffy, How I Met Your Mother, Gossip Girl, Dark Angel, Charmed, Boston Legal, Chuck, or Gilmore Girls.

Chapter 5

The girl groaned a sleepy groan. She tried to concentrate to get a sense of where she was. It didn't help. Now that she thought about it she realized that she was unsure of _whom_ she was, much less where. As her mind expanded into a more awakened state she found that her arm was wrapped around something that was large and warm… and moving. She opened her eyes to find her arm draped over a stomach belonging to a guy that she appeared to be cuddling with. Before she could react he took in a deep breath, opened his eyes, and smiled at her. He also gave her a short squeeze with an arm that she hadn't realized was around her.

"Morning," he said sleepily. She sat up and stared at him wide eyed.

"You know who I am then?" she asked. Maybe he could shed some light on the situation. Was he her boyfriend? The man scrunched his face into a confused expression before replying.

"Uh no actually… Do you know who I am?" He moved to sit up as well. He cocked his head and looked at her trying to remember. She just shook her head and scooted away from him. She was afraid now. Neither of them had time to assess the situation any further because just then a noise made them both jump. Looking around they saw that there were several other people in the room who were just now waking up.

The man stood up and started taking everyone in. He remained calm as one of the other guys began to panic. "Hey bud, it's cool. Just relax alright? We'll figure this out." The panicky guy took a deep breath and backed away from the rest of the group.

"Alright no one's hurt right?" said a little blonde woman who seemed to be taking this all in stride. Everyone assessed themselves and nodded in agreement. "Okay, none of us looks hatchedy murdery so we're probably safe here…"

'Wherever here is," chimed in the man who had woken up with the girl who was now cowering against a shelf. He and the blonde both moved to comfort her. Having a protective presence on each side she relaxed a little. A red head that had woken up next to Panic Guy started looking around and going over the contents of the room they were in until she found a book that was titled Magic for Beginners.

"This is a magic shop! A-a-a real m-magic shop." A girl who had been sitting in a chair just letting the others work it out piped up.

"Alright magic shop, well maybe something magic-y happened." The blonde's statement was met with skepticism from an older guy who had an English accent. While a bleach blonde guy on the counter made fun of it the guy who appeared to be the most rational began to check his pockets. He came up with a wallet. It had several credit cards in it all with different names, he frowned. Was he some sort of scam artist? He certainly didn't feel like taking part in any sort of deviant behavior. Then he found an FBI badge. Maybe the cards were just for going under cover. He shrugged and looked at the name next to his picture.

"Jared Sambora" he didn't realize he'd said it out loud until everyone looked at him. "The name on my badge," He said as he held it up for them to see.

"Oh good idea! Everyone should check their pockets for id's and driver's licenses." Red exclaimed. They all began searching through pockets and nearby purses. After a few minutes they had a few more things figured out. The red head's name was Willow and she was apparently dating Alex (the guy who had freaked out). The girl who didn't say much was Tara. Randy and Rupert Giles were both British. Randy was Rupert son. Jared took all of this in and observed the relationships. Rupert and the girl he'd woken up leaning on were engaged and they owned this magic shop. Suddenly Alex turned to Jared.

"Is this some sort of government test thing?" his tone made everyone else look at Jared in suspicion. Everyone except the brunette he'd woken up next to. She wound her fingers through his. Somehow she was sure that this guy would never do anything to hurt her and she was going to give him all the support she could. He held up his free hand in surrender.

"Honest, I know nothing more than you guys do. If it's some sort of government thing then they're testing me too." The group eased off a little, but the current situation didn't leave much room for anyone to relax entirely. Alex awkwardly put his arm around Willow.

"Hey what's your name?" Jared turned to the brunette next to him.

"Well I don't have a wallet so…"

"But look at this," The blonde indicated the necklace the brunette had on. Jared read it.

"Dawn… I like it." He smiled at her and gave her hand a squeeze. Dawn turned back to the blonde.

"What about you?"

"Well I don't have a wallet either so I guess I'll call myself… Joan." She smiled at Dawn who gave her a skeptical look.

"Joan? It's so blah."

"I like it. I feel like a Joan." Joan said defensively before indicating Jared. "Is that your boyfriend? Cus he looks a little old for you." Jared ducked his head and looked guilty. He hadn't really taken in ages, but now that he thought about it Dawn didn't look THAT young and he felt like he genuinely cared about her.

"Whatever Joan." Dawn scoffed. Then it dawned on both of them. "Do you think...?"

"We're sisters?" Joan finished excitedly. They hugged and Joan threw a look at Jared over Dawn's shoulder. He didn't seem like a creep, but if he hurt her little sis she'd put the hurtin on him Joan style… after she figured out what 'Joan Style" was.

Joan turned to address the rest of the group. Dawn looked sheepishly at Jared. _I should probably just keep my distance from him until we figure this out. _She thought as she attempted to scoot away from him. But Jared's hand was already reaching for hers, and quite frankly she didn't feel like refusing him. He was too much of a comfort, and he obviously felt at least a little something for her.

Jared smiled down at Dawn before letting go of her hand to pull her closer and wrap his whole arm around her. It felt nice. "Okay so we'll head out to find a hospital." Joan finished as she looked around at everyone else. They seemed to be alright with following her lead.

Everyone began to head to the door. As he was walking Jared felt something strange at his back. He reached his hand back to find a gun his waist band, deciding to leave it there and not panic anyone he kept walking toward the door until everyone rushed back at him screaming.

"Did you see that?!" Joan shrieked.

"See what?!" Jared yelled back.

"Vampires!" Randy was appalled at the idea. The statement annoyed Jared, and he realized that he got annoyed whenever Randy spoke. Maybe they were enemies of some sort? Jared decided to put the thought on the backburner. Vampires were clearly a more pressing issue. _Wait vampires? Why don't I find it weird that vampires exist?_

"Maybe it's Halloween?" Tara suggested, snapping Jared from his own thoughts.

"It doesn't feel like Halloween." Dawn replied as she cowered against Jared. He held her close as everyone tried to figure out what their next move should be. Willow and Alex went to check for other doors to barricade.

"Slayer! Send out Spike!" The vampires called in to them.

"They seem to want spikes." Rupert pointed out. The group looked puzzled and then Randy pulled out a bunch of wooden stakes.

"Here let's give em these!"

"That's a dumb idea." The childish comment slipped out of Jared's mouth before he could stop it. "I mean, why would they be here just to get spikes? They can't find spikes anywhere else?" Randy stuttered trying to come up with an explanation before Dawn chimed in.

"What would they do with them anyway?"

"They keep saying 'slay her'!" Tara remarked.

"They're going to slay someone? A female someone! Who do those jerks think they are ?!" Joan was getting ticked. Just then Alex and Willow came back having found a trap door in the basement that led to the sewer. Everyone got up to follow them when the vampires broke through the store front window. Jared made sure everyone was behind him before pulling his gun from his waist band and firing at the attacking vamp's face. The vamp dodged and grabbed him by the throat.

"Winchester!" it growled at him, "Heard you were in town. Heard about Dean too. Guess you just weren't enough to save him." It laughed as it threw him across the floor. Dawn rushed to his side and helped him up. Joan was being held by one while another pushed Randy against the wall and questioned him about …Kittens? Did he hear that right?

Jared pushed Dawn back, picking up a stake as he moved, while Joan wiggled free of her vampire and rushed the one threatening Randy. "Stay away from Randy!" she yelled as she plunged a stake that she didn't realize was in her hand into his heart. Jared did the same to the vampire that had been holding her moments before. The end result was two twin clouds of dust. The third vampire took off to find reinforcements.

Jared moved to make sure Dawn was alright, while the rest of the group stared unable to believe what had just happened. "What did you just do?!" Rupert's fiancé, An-yuh, asked.

"I don't know… but it was cool." Joan grinned at Jared.

"Definitely." He replied with his own wide smile.

"Hey where did you get a gun? And why did he call you Winchester? I thought your name was Jared." Alex was aiming some suspicion in Jared's direction and Dawn didn't like it.

"I just found it in my waist band." Jared said as he put his hands up in surrender, "Honest dude I'm on your side. I am an FBI agent so maybe it's a cover of some sort."

"I'm like a super hero or something!" Joan said excited by the adrenaline that was rushing through her. She had felt incredible strength when she had taken down that vamp and she wanted to start using it a little more. "Okay I've got a plan. They seem to want Randy, and I seem to be pretty strong. So Jared you take these guys and go through the sewers to get to the hospital, while Randy and I give the monsters a run for their money." Looking at the little blonde Jared didn't like the idea. He felt he should protect her. Not in a 'need to be the macho guy way', just in a 'needing to keep her alive way'. The feeling way really strong all of a sudden, he couldn't stand it if this girl died.

"No way." He said trying to think of a different plan, "I'll go with Randy and you go with these guys." Joan scowled, she obviously thought he was trying to be the macho man. "Joan it's not that you're not capable, it's just… for some reason I don't want you in the danger, it's just this thing that I can't get out of my head." Dawn looked up at him. Did he have a crush on her sister? She shook the thought from her mind. No sense in going all jealous girl friend right now. She wasn't even sure if she was his actual girlfriend and there were more pressing matters at hand.

Joan's expression softened as she felt his words strike something in her heart. She looked at the rest of the group. "Well it's not like they'll follow you into the sewers. They want Randy, so what if both of us take him while you guys escape." Everyone seemed to be alright with that. Except for An-yuh, who didn't want to leave her shop. So she and Rupert decided to stay and try out some spells.

Jared looked to Dawn. He didn't want to leave her, but the vampires wouldn't have a reason to follow the others, whereas Joan would be out there facing God knows how many of them. He pulled her into a hug as they prepared to go. "You gunna be alright?" he said as he pushed her chin up so he could see her face.

"Yea, I mean, I think so. It's all very weird. And should we be dating? I feel really weird here with you. Almost like it's TOO amazing. Like we'll get our memories back and I'll be a girl with a crush on a guy who would never even notice her."

"No way. Cus I definitely feel something. Maybe I'm the one with the crush." She smiled and leaned her head into his chest. _I guess I'll just enjoy him while he's here. _He gave her one last squeeze before heading for the door.

"You guys ready?" Joan asked.

"Ready, Joan" Jared checked his gun and grabbed a stake.

"Uh son…come here?" Rupert held out his arms for a hug which Randy stepped into awkwardly. Jared's eyes fell on Dawn. _What the hell? _He thought as he walked over to her. Curling his hand around the back of her neck he pulled her face in to kiss her lips. At first she couldn't kiss him back because she was so shocked, but after a second she relaxed and let herself enjoy it. When Jared broke the kiss a few seconds later he smiled at her before kissing her on the forehead and walking to where Joan was standing stunned.

Before opening the door she whispered, "Hurt her and you'll be sorry. Kay?" Jared nodded. Joan threw open the door and pushed the vampires standing there out of the way. Randy followed, with Jared close behind. As they ran Jared got caught from behind. Randy turned back to help. When he threw a punch that sent the vampire sailing Jared saw his face turn bumpy, and his fangs come out. Joan turned in time to see the vamp face as well.

"Hey guys! I'm a super hero too!" Jared threw his fist into Randy's gut and took off, pulling Joan with him.

_Knew there was a reason I didn't like that. _Jared thought. Joan just screamed.

"Hey wait up you guys!" Randy called, but they just kept running, Jared tried to figure out how they were going to find Dawn and the others without leading the vampires straight to them.

"I said wait up!" Joan turned and punched Randy knocking him to the ground.

"What the bleeding hell are you two hitting me for?"

"You don't know who you are?" Joan got on top of Randy, holding him down.

"Um news flash none of us do."

" Check the forehead bumps, and the fangs. You're a vampire."

"No I'm… whoa. I'm a vampire." Randy looked stunned.

"Careful Joan this might've been his plan all along. He could be faking." Jared cautioned with his gun trained on Randy's head. He wasn't sure if the gun would do any real damage, but it had to at least slow him down or something, right?

"Wait if I'm a vampire then why don't I want to bite you? OH! Maybe I'm one of the good guys! I fight on your side, no thoughts of biting you and you certainly wouldn't stake me. I must be a noble vampire… A vampire with a soul." Randy looked proud of himself. He must be a good guy, because he felt as though any pain he caused this man or woman in front of him would cause him pain.

Jared snorted. "Right a vampire with a soul."

"Yea, how lame is that." Joan chimed in, but she did let him get up. She and Jared stood together ready to defend themselves if Randy decided to attack.

"Honestly, i-umpf." Randy was cut off by a vampire tackling him. The other two took battle stances as the vampires caught up to them. Jared ducked a punch and plunged a stake into his attacker's heart. Joan grappled with her own assailants, while Randy took another 3 of his own. The fight seemed natural, each of them remembering fighting moves as if from a past life.

Joan broke a mailbox to use the post as a stake. Jared shot a vamp in the head, stunning him momentarily so he could stake it. Randy laughed with the pleasure of slamming his fist into the skull of a creature. Violence felt great.

In the sewers Dawn tossed Alex a stake and he dusted the vamp that fell on top of him. When he got up to check on Willow and Tara he felt a soft crunch beneath his foot.

Buffy stopped mid punch and was immediately knocked to the ground. Sam inhaled sharply at the sudden pain that threatened to cripple him, but he kept on fighting.

"Buffy!" Spike ran to deal with the vampire attacking her.

* * *

Xander chuckled at a passing memory, and then remembered that Willow must've cast a spell. From the look on Tara's face he was correct. Dawn blushed. Sam had kissed her! What did that mean? How on earth could she look at him now? She remembered what she said to him just before he'd left. She'd always liked him and she was pretty sure he knew that, but she had said it. It was out there now. She groaned as she followed Xander out of the cave. As if everything wasn't complicated enough.

* * *

Buffy heard her name called, but she couldn't get to the voice. Her mind was too wrapped around the memories that were all fighting for her attention. Meeting the Winchesters, her mom dying, Dawn taking her first steps, killing Angel, Dean slicing and dicing people in some hell dimension, Sam trying to teach her to drive. She couldn't get a hold on one of them until she remembered the first time Dean ever kissed her. When that one came swirling through she grabbed it and held on tight.

They were patrolling together one night shortly after Angel had turned evil. It was one of those rare nights where Angelus wasn't plaguing her every thought. Dean had always had a strange talent for making her troubles seem non existent. She was happy he had decided to stick around. Their dad had left on a job and had given the boys a choice for the first time. In the end Buffy had simply needed them more.

Dean was making her laugh. Really laugh. The kind where you double over and have to catch your breath and you can't control the tears that spill out of your eyes. He had taken her hand as they walked through the woods in search of the creature that Giles had sent them after. It felt nice.

"When I woke up, Sammy was just standing there grinning and I knew _something _was up. I was in my underwear in the middle of freaken central park and it was 9 degrees outsi-"Their monster slammed into him and ripped him from Buffy's grip.

"Dean!" Buffy leaped into action grabbing the thing and throwing it off of him. After giving Dean a quick once over to make sure he didn't need any immediate attention she turned back to the thing.

Rubbing his head Dean sat up to join the fight, but stopped when he noticed Buffy had it under control. He leaned against a tree to watch. He never really thought about the way Buffy fought, but right now it just looked like poetry. He wasn't exactly a poetic guy but the motions of a good fight always made him a little tingly. He was so caught up in watching Buffy fight that he didn't think to move when she threw the monster his way. His head hit the tree and he slumped to the ground.

Buffy put all her might into swinging her silver axe at the creature's neck. After it was finished she kneeled beside Dean and breathed a sigh of relief when she felt his pulse still going strong. Just unconscious, probably with a minor concussion.

Dean's green eyes fluttered open and Buffy got lost for a moment. "Agh man, I guess I should've gotten out of the way." Dean rubbed the back of his neck as he sat up. Buffy looked away trying to avoid looking into the green pools of gorgeous, no way was she going to develop a crush on the womanizer that was Dean Winchester.

"Yea sorry bout that. Didn't really think about where you were standing."

"No worries. I shouldn't have been watching like an idiot who's never seen a fight before." He noted with curiosity that she wasn't really looking at him. Even when she stood to help him up, Buffy avoided looking directly into his eyes. If it was Sam she probably would've gone all mother hen making sure his pupils were dilated and what not. For some reason the thought of Buffy caring more for Sam pricked something in his stomach, and for a split second he was mad at Sam. Jealousy? _Psh, I don't get jealous._

They walked in silence for a bit after that. Not really headed home just walking. Buffy was running down the list of reasons that Dean was no good for any girl. She had a lot of friendly love for him and she would die protecting him, but to date him? Absurd.

Dean just kept replaying the motions of her fight, and pulling up memories of other battles he'd fought at her side. How had he never noticed how fantastic she was? Not just her fight, but everything. He reached for her hand again. She didn't refuse but he felt her body stiffen a little.

"Something wrong?" he asked casually.

"Not really. Just thinking about you and Sam." She told him, trying to be vague about her thoughts. Dean was mad at Sam again. He pushed it away.

"Buff, have I ever told you that you've got some great moves? I mean it goes without saying, but I was just thinking about it tonight and you're incredible… I mean… I don't know."

"Comes with the slayer territory." Buffy replied blushing. _Crap, did I just blush because of Dean Winchester?_ Dean thought about her statement for a moment before, he turned to stand in front of her suddenly. She ran into his chest.

"Sorry, I just… will you look at me for a second?" Buffy forced herself to look up at his face, noticing everything about it. He seemed to be studying her as well. "Buff, I don't think it's just because you're the slayer. It's because you care. Ya know you have a choice… Sure you're the slayer and you've got all the power to save the world and what not, but in the end it's still your decision. Someone else could probably take care of all the apocalypse problems. There are plenty of hunters out there. You could walk away from this gig at any time. Hell I could walk away if I wanted to. We aren't forced to stay. It's a choice we have to make each morning. You fight because you want to, and for no other reason. If you didn't want to fight you'd be dead already. So when I say you've got some good moves, it's the highest compliment I can think to give." Buffy was smiling and he couldn't help but be dazzled. How had he never noticed these things? Before he could think about it he was kissing her. After a few long moments he pulled back.

"How about we not say anything right now? I've really enjoyed this night and I don't want you to ruin it with one of your dumb ass comments." Buffy took his hand and pulled him along as Dean feigned being insulted.

"Me? Make a dumb ass comment? How could you say such a thing? No one has more class and finesse than me." They laughed at that, and Dean had to stop her for another kiss.

"Damn Buff. Why didn't I do this sooner?" he asked leaning his forehead against hers.

"Cus you know I would've kicked your ass." He smiled as they walked on, "Dean, how about we keep this casual, so that we can keep it?"

* * *

Sam pulled Buffy's head into his lap, trying to pull her back to reality. He'd heard her say 'Dean' and figured she must be lost in some memory. It was all he could do to not lose himself in one of the memories that had come flooding back. Spike was standing over them yelling her name. When her eyes opened Sam could see the tears that instantly pooled there. She couldn't look at Sam. She jumped up and took off, ignoring Spike's calls.

Sam thought about running after her, but thought better of it. She obviously needed some time alone. Ignoring the urge to hit Spike he started walking toward the magic box, to make sure everyone else was alright.

After seeing Anya, Xander, and Giles secure, if not slightly uncomfortable, at the Magic Box, Sam headed back to the house where he ran into Tara coming down the steps. She was carrying a few boxes so he went over to help her out. He noticed that she was crying. _Willow must have made all this happen. _He knew they'd been having problems.

"Tara… I'm sorry. If you ever need to talk or… whatever… We're all still your friends." Sam told her trying not to be awkward.

"Thanks Sam." She offered a small smile as she got into her car. Sam headed back to the house before opening the door he remembered, _Dawn! I kissed Dawn. _He opened the door preparing himself to deal with the tense conversations that were sure to ensue, but he didn't see Dawn, Willow, or Buffy. A quick scan of the house showed Dawn and Willow's closed doors and Buffy wasn't even home yet. He decided to sit and wait up for her on the couch.

* * *

At the bronze Buffy couldn't think to order anything. The pain was back and sharper than ever, all of the memories were fresher. Spike walked up to her and she turned away from him. She wouldn't give in tonight. She needed to hold on for just a little while longer. Giles would find a way to bring Dean back and in the mean time she'd figure out a way to survive without either of them. She'd find a way to deal with the apparently budding relationship between her best friend and little sister, she would find a way to keep Willow in tact, and now that she was thinking about all these things the voice that told her to stay away form Spike got much quieter.

Without much more thought she got up to look for him, found him sulking in a back corner. She didn't say anything she just grabbed his coat and pulled him up to her. He kissed her back not caring that she was kissing with what felt like anger and despair. She was pretending he was someone else, so he could pretend that she had different motives for the interaction than simply taking out anger.

He wasn't Dean, not even close. His mouth didn't move the same way and his arms didn't know how to hold her correctly, but at this moment she just couldn't seem to care. She could only feel that this was better than the pain she'd been living with since she got back, and so she indulged. She wasn't sure she'd make the choice to keep going tomorrow if she didn't have some kind of release.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

Note: I enjoy writing this story, so if you enjoy reading let me know :)

* * *

The house was still. Buffy didn't even notice. Her 'session' with Spike had allowed her to take all of the pain and shove it right back into its tiny cramped bottle. _My own method of therapy, _she smiled inwardly at the dark thought.

Her eyes saw Sam sitting on the couch fast asleep with no blanket and his shoes on, but her brain didn't register that he had probably been trying to wait for her. She couldn't take Sam's sympathy and support right now. Her brain knew he would try to push his own refreshed grief aside to help her. It was just what he did. Her brain also knew that it would simply make her heart hurt even worse because of the guilt and for being unable to ease his pain. Buffy was running on autopilot. If her subconscious saw something that would make her heart ache it simply wouldn't let it through to conscious Buffy. That was how she was able to make it to her room, put on her pajamas, lay down and fall asleep in her own bed without screaming in agony.

Of course when she fell asleep her subconscious had no way of filtering the dream she was about to have.

* * *

Buffy could feel the evil and despair rolling around her. She almost choked on it. Looking at her hands she couldn't tell what they were made of. They looked real but felt… odd. When she took in the area her eyes couldn't understand. She tried taking a step. Weird. Was she moving extremely fast or extremely slow? She took another step, another, until she forgot about the weird feeling of it. The only thing she could tell about this place was that it was bad, a deep in your bones kind of bad. She wanted out.

She could see a bright thing from the corner of her eye. She didn't want to turn toward it; there was no telling what would be in the bright corners of this place. Probably just some brightly lit despair.

As her eyes began to focus on things Buffy thought she could see people. Kind of people… maybe people? People who were so twisted and broken from years of torture that they no longer looked as if they belonged to the human race. No. She wasn't doing this again. She had seen it far too many times. She was already suffering. Why couldn't she just be left alone for a little while?

"Is that really so much to ask?!" She shouted, or at least tried to shout. The air was too thick for sound. The thick air of hell. Whenever she came to this place in her sleep it was usually accompanied with visions of Dean, but she didn't see him at the moment, and she really didn't want to. Dean never looked like Dean here.

* * *

Sam slowly began to wake up. Taking a deep breath and stretching he looked at the clock. Buffy should've been home by now. He went up to her room where he found her sleeping soundly. Why hadn't she woken him up? How on earth was she sleeping so well? Maybe Willow had done another spell, and if that was the case, no matter how much he disliked Willow doing magic, he would let Buffy sleep. It eased his own pain to see her rest.

He turned to go back to the couch, but stopped when he heard her groan slightly. He could sleep on the floor here tonight, just in case.

* * *

Buffy wasn't sure what to do. She couldn't wake up and she certainly wasn't interested in looking around this dismal place. The light from earlier seemed to be getting closer. Buffy took a battle stance, turned toward it and was slightly blinded. How was light getting through so strongly here?

"Careful Slayer." A voice that seemed to be coming from within the light told her. "Your eyes should adjust, but you must not attempt to touch."

"Right because my first thought was to TOUCH the blinding light." Buffy snorted.

"I know you've been coming here frequently. It would be best if you did not." The light continued. This had never happened before and Buffy was bracing herself for whatever might come.

"Not like I want to be here. If I could control my dreams I would. If I could control anything in my life I would." She was unhappy with the new presence. It had never been here before and Buffy couldn't help but think it was a new torture her mind had devised.

"This is no mere dream Slayer. Your spirit is here. In hell. Can't you feel it?" The light's tone was annoyingly bland.

"I can't feel much of anything anymore." Why was the voice sounding familiar?

"Oh yes. I've been watching. You should be more alert to the world around you."

"Guess what? I don't care. I've paid massive amounts of attention to this world and guess where it got me? Pulled out of heaven and forced back into a world that doesn't give a damn that I keep saving it! So go ahead give me a lecture on why I need to keep fighting. These," she pointed to her ears, "are deaf to it. I have to watch my boyfriend torture people every night, my best friends are in massive amounts of pain that I can do nothing about, and I have to maintain the façade that I'm 'okay' every damn day. So please tell me some more about keeping alert when it's all I can do to keep sane."

The figure said nothing for a long moment. Buffy's eyes were beginning to adjust and she couldn't believe what she thought she was seeing in the light. What would he be doing here? This was a long cry from his domain, it couldn't possibly be him. Nonetheless Buffy could feel tears pooling in her eyes. She tried to push them aside but then the figure spoke again.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. If there was something I could do I-"

"Castiel?" Buffy couldn't believe it. An angel in hell? Was he being punished?

"Yes. I've been sent to retrieve someone." Buffy's head was spinning. She was asleep so he was probably just another part of the dream.

"That's it. I'm done with all of this. I'm getting some anti-dream pills when I wake up." She sat down and closed her eyes. She wasn't going to look any deeper into the hell dimension of her mind. The images of her love ripping people apart were bad enough. She wasn't about to let her psyche bring her lost angel friend into the picture as well, especially when his words had given her a hope that she didn't dare give in to. She was messed up, it's true, but she wouldn't let sleeping be a relief from the real world. If there was anything she could give Dawn it was not sleeping through life.

* * *

Sam couldn't sleep. Every once in a while Buffy would make a small noise and he would spring into action. He'd check to make sure she was breathing steadily and that she didn't look like she was in pain. Then he'd sit up and watch for a few more minutes before lying back down on the floor. He got up this time to see Buffy's face twisted ever so slightly into a look of… pain? He couldn't really tell. It almost looked like she was confused. He stayed kneeling there this time, afraid that the look would turn into a scream.

He stayed because he loved this girl. She was the closest thing he had to a sister and he needed to take care of his family. He also stayed for Dean. If Dean were here he'd be able to make it better for Buffy. He'd keep watch all night and he'd know exactly what face she was making. He would make everything alright, because that's just what his big brother did.

Sam took Buffy's hand. He would do all he could to take care of this girl for Dean. Looking at her face he thought of when they first met her. The little girl who was about to become the slayer. It seemed like so many people had been called in to help her. Buffy hadn't had a watcher from an early age like most other girls. Maverick had thought that John and the boys would be able to help her.

Dean had immediately hit on her of course and to Sam's amusement she had rejected him with a, "If you think we'll get all bondy over this whole freak-of-nature hunting thing you are sadly mistaken." Then she had stalked off to class. Later that day Sam had found her crying in the hallway, the brave façade shattered for the moment.

"Hey… um you okay?" he had never had to comfort a crying female. He learned quickly in his time with Buffy. She wiped her eyes and looked him straight in the face.

"No not really." She didn't have anyone to talk to about anything. Her parents were always fighting, mostly about her, and now she found out that she had to save the world from unspeakable evil? It was too much to keep bottled up forever.

"Look I know this whole slayer thing doesn't sound fun. Trust me I know, I've been living this life since I was born." Buffy looked shocked.

"Since you were born?"

"Yea. Well mostly. It all started when my mom found a demon in my nursery. It killed her and burned the house down. Ever since then my dad has been tracking it down. Killing every demon he can find along the way." Sam wasn't sure why he was telling her this, but she wasn't crying anymore. "Buffy, this life can suck, but it's also nice knowing that there's a little less bad in the world because of my family." Buffy smiled at Sam and then pulled him into a hug.

"Thanks Sam." It was a little awkward, for him, at the time, but he grew to love those hugs. She became one of his best friends. They could tell each other anything, and then when Maverick was killed John had taken it as his responsibility to make sure Buffy was alright. All three of the Winchester men had come to care deeply about the slayer. John had never had a daughter, Dean had never had someone reject him at every turn, and Sam had never had someone who understood what he was going through with the whole demon hunting life. None of them wanted to lose her, and it just so happened that there was plenty of hunting to be done on the hell mouth so John wasn't completely out of place.

Sam looked at her now. Just as much his family as Dean was. They should have saved her from dying that day. She should've been at the final battle for Dean's soul. If she had maybe Dean, himself, would've fought a little harder. She was all he had left. She was all Dawn had left.

* * *

"When are you going to stand up?"

"As soon as I wake up."

"You will not wake up. I have put your body into a deep sleep."

"That's impossible Cas. You're a dream. You're not real. Now please go away."

"Buffy this is fruitless. There is not much time till morning and my assignment is to retrieve him tonight." Buffy sighed. It appeared as though she wasn't waking up so maybe she should just indulge in this Dream Castiel's whims so she could wake up and get that anti-dream medication.

"Fine let's go Castiel. I'll follow you over the rainbow into lala land." The angel cocked its beautiful head and gave her a confused look.

"We are going deeper into hell… not… _lala _land." Buffy's sarcasm armor cracked a bit as she reached out for Castiel. When he pulled out of her reach she frowned. "I warned you not to touch."

"Cas it's my dream. So I'll give you a hug if I want to." She stepped closer to him and again he pulled back.

"I've also told you that this is no ordinary dream. Why do you make me repeat myself?" Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Well if this is supposed to be spirit me then why can't I touch you? I hugged you when I was in heaven, I was a spirit then."

"Your spirit is different here. Can you not reach out with your slayer senses?"

Buffy looked down at her feet.

"My slayer senses make the world… sharper. I don't use them if I can help it."

"I think you're frustrating me. Although I'm not sure because I've never really had cause to be frustrated."

"Well how do you think I feel? I'm dreaming about an angel that I had forgotten about. He says he's here to retrieve someone from hell and I don't want to start begging you to save Dean. Alright?! Please go away so I can wake up."

"Buffy there is no need for you to beg. I'm here to retrieve Dean from the pit. It is the will of heaven." Buffy couldn't hold on to calm much longer. He had mentioned Dean and her heart began to race.

* * *

Sam felt Buffy's pulse quicken against his wrist. She didn't do anything else, but he was certain that her heart rate had changed. He squeezed her hand. "Buffy? Buff it's okay. I'm here. I don't know what's going on, but I'm here." He felt her pulse slow slightly and figured she was okay. He laid his head down on her bed to rest a little more.

* * *

Dream Buffy was panicking. She didn't want to see Dean. She had already seen him. He had been torturing other souls. She hated this. Castiel was offering to save Dean. Of course she would dream this. It was the perfect solution. No strings attached. An angel just pulls him out and it's all good. Except for it wouldn't be all good when she woke up. It would be a new kind of hell.

Just when Buffy thought she would cry she felt something. Like a calm. A hand in hers. She looked up at the bright angel, and reached out with her slayer senses. It was incredibly painful. She could feel the depths of hell begging to rip her into little pieces. Then she felt the warmth of the angel, taking a deep breath she adjusted her eyes to the light and said, "What can I do?"

'Well technically you aren't supposed to be here. I don't think you were ever really supposed to cross paths with Dean Winchester. They won't like me using your assistance, but it will make the task easier." He seemed to contemplate this for a moment. "Follow me." With that he began moving through the space. Buffy followed, hating every step. She didn't have to look to know that there was a whole lot of suffering going on around her. She could feel it even without the slayer sense.

She could feel demons watching them. They wanted to attack but something was holding them back. Her body itched and tingled. She had fought on the mouth of hell for years, but it seemed as though fighting in actual hell would be way worse. She hoped they stayed back.

They came to a door, which was odd because she hadn't seen any walls. Castiel opened this door and stood aside for Buffy to enter. There was Dean cleaning a blade he had just used on some poor soul. Buffy could see its body laying a rack behind him. Dean looked up at the intrusion. The knife fell out of his hand and he backed up.

"You've already been here today. I'm doing what you want so why won't you just leave me alone?!" Dean was screaming. The sound wretched at Buffy's heart. She moved toward him and he pushed himself against a wall. She stepped carefully closer. Standing in front of him she slowly reached up a hand to his face. It was grimy and bloody but she needed to touch it to let him know she was real. "No! Please! Just don't alright?" Dean cowered closer to the wall. Then her hand connected to his cheek and he began to sob.

"Buffy," Castiel's voice came from behind her; "We've got some company. Are you able to fight here? I can handle the majority, but should one get passed-"

"I'll handle it." Buffy replied. Dream or no she would protect Dean. No matter what form he came in she hated to see him suffer. She could feel evil coming closer. Castiel's light burned brighter as he began to chant. Buffy took a battle position in front of Dean. The light burned as the evil advanced and she saw what an angel could do.

She had seen a lot of them in heaven, but she had never seen an angel fight. Castiel was magnificent. Two did slip under his wings though and as promised Buffy handled them. She picked up the knife Dean had dropped and made short work of them. They were the ugliest things she had ever seen. Demons in true form were disgusting.

When she was done she turned back to Dean who was pressed against the floor still sobbing. Placing a hand on his back she tried to sooth him.

He was right in front of her. He was damaged, but he was there. She was touching him. She could feel Castiel's light come near and she looked up at him with watery eyes. "Please don't be a dream," she begged, "Please save him." Castiel nodded.

"This may hurt." He reached down to grab both of their arms.

* * *

Buffy's scream had Sam up and ready to fight before he realized what had happened. Taking a quick look around he saw that he was still in her room. He quickly readjusted his perspective and sat down beside her. She sat up, crying and threw her arms around his neck. "Sam, that one w- w-was the worst." She sobbed into his shoulder.

He held her as tight as he could. "It's alright. I'm here I'm not going anywhere."

"What am I gunna do? I just can't hold it together anymore. I can't be who I was. I'm not the slayer who can do it all. What am I gunna do?

"You're going to rest. Take a vacation. The gang and I will patrol. It'll be alright. Just don't worry."

"Sam this isn't fair to you. It's not like you're all hunky doory."

"But I am better than you. I've been able to deal in different ways." He thought about Ruby. He should probably give her a call. "Buffy, what have you been dreaming about?"

"Sam… please just don't ask."

"Hey, it's me. I'm sick of watching you bottle everything like it's your job to shield us all from your pain. I'm here, I see you in pain, and it's only causing me more pain not knowing why."

"This time… I saved Dean. An angel I met in heaven came to help me pull Dean out. It felt so real. And all the other times, it's just Dean… he never looks good." Buffy wouldn't say more than that. It would hurt her more to give the Sam the image of Dean using torture devices on other souls.

"It'll be okay Buff. You'll see. Giles will come back with a solution. In the mean time just hold on alright?... Do you maybe want to talk about the angels you met?" Sam asked. He'd been meaning to ask her about heaven. He wanted her to be able to talk about it, but he was afraid of knowing.

"Well… I met a lot of them, but the one in my dream was named Castiel. He and I… hung out, I guess, in heaven. He was a friend. There aren't too many like him there. Some of them are downright callous." Sam smiled. Buffy's tone didn't seem resentful of the memory or upset to be talking about it. She just seemed to be telling a story to an old friend. He knew there was hope for her. They would all be alright. He would make it alright.

_Starting with Dawn tomorrow morning, _he thought. He would set things straight with her. He would ask her out on an official date. She deserved that. Not just some half assed relationship formed because of a spell.

Buffy fell asleep without dreaming this time. Sam held her through the rest of the night and they both got some good rest.

* * *

Upon hearing Buffy scream Dawn had rushed to her room to find Sam already handling the situation. As she watched him hold her sister, she couldn't help but feel a small twinge of jealousy. They had always been good friends. Sam had always seemed brotherly toward her, but maybe with Dean gone he was looking at Buffy differently. She sat outside the room just in case Buffy needed her. Not that it would happen, but she wanted to be sure.

She wouldn't make it difficult for Sam. She would simply tell him it was the silly spell and they'd be fine. They'd just go right back to being friends and he wouldn't have to feel awkward around her. She let a few tears fall for the loss, but ultimately knew she would do the brave thing and let him go.

* * *

Taking a deep, panicked breath Dean took in his surroundings. Not a lot to take in. Just wood on all sides. He began punching the piece above him without thinking. Dirt came pouring in. What in the hell was happening? He yelled in frustration and hurt his throat. It felt raw. Without anymore thought he just threw himself into the task of digging upwards. He didn't think much but he began to register certain things. He had been in hell, he had been tortured, he had tortured other people, and he had just woken up in his own coffin. The last thing he registered before he shut the thinking part of his brain down to dig was that Buffy had been there, Buffy had seen him torture people.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry I haven't posted in so long everyone! This chapter gave me a lot of trouble and I honestly have no clue if it came out alright. So let me know what you think. If you hate it tell me and I just might scrap it and start over.

Let me know what you all want to see and I'll try to give it to you next chapter.

The pain in Dawn's chest had made it impossible for her to get back to sleep, so she was the first one in the kitchen that morning. After she made coffee and ate a small breakfast, she found herself wishing she had to go to school. She had nothing to do but sit around and wait for everyone else to get up. Wait for Sam to get up… "Fan-freaken tastic," she muttered to herself.

She had resolved to tell him it meant nothing, that it had been the silliness of the spell. She was going to make it easy on him.

Didn't mean she had to like it.

In order to clear her head and loosen herself up she decided to take a walk. The sun had just come up so it wasn't like too many baddies would be lurking about. Still she left a note on the table so that someone would know where she was.

Hand on the door, Dawn heard the steps creak as someone came down them. "Morning Dawn," Sam said. She cringed before plastering a smile on her face and turning around.

"Morning Sam," One hand still on the door ready to say what needed to be said and bolt.

"Okay so I know it's early, but I kinda want to get this out there before too much starts happening around here." Sam began. Dawn's stomach clenched. No way was he going to get it out first. "About what happened last night-"

"Crazy huh? That spell was so weird! Everyone with the mixed relationships, kinda funny that you thought you were an FBI agent." Dawn rambled trying to find the point she wanted to make, "We kissed, Giles and Anya kissed. So many weird things that wouldn't _ever _happen in real life." She gave a manic little laugh and opened the door. "I think I'm gunna go for a walk. Just need to get out of the crazy fun for a while."

"Well wait just let me get dressed and I'll come with." Sam tried desperately to make sense of her attitude.

"Oh no. I'm good really. Just want some quiet time to… reflect." And with that she closed the door and jogged down the sidewalk, anxious to be away from the house.

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

Sam stared at the door for a moment. He had wanted to ask her out before everyone woke up, but now he wasn't sure if he should at all. Maybe the spell was having after effects on her; maybe she was under too much stress to be dating right now. Or maybe she was repulsed by the idea of kissing him. The thought was odd. She'd had an unspoken crush on him for as long he could remember. Either way he didn't want to push her, so he followed the scent of coffee to the kitchen.

Not long after, Buffy descended the steps. "Hey Buff. Are you feeling okay?"

Buffy looked up at him and then shrugged a slender shoulder. The dream she'd had was eating at her. She wanted so badly to give in to the fantasy, but knew that if she did she would spend the better part of her life sleeping in hopes of remaking the dream. _Maybe it'll go further next time. Maybe I'll actually get to see-_ she cut herself off. The thoughts wouldn't stay buried, but she had to try. For Dawn and Sam she had to try.

Her eyes fell to the note Dawn had left. She rushed to the front door and pulled it open. "Buffy? Something wrong?" Sam had followed her and was looking out the door with her.

"I just wasn't sure if the sun was up all the way yet, but she could've left this note at any point in the night." She glanced at the note hoping it had a time or some other clue as to when Dawn had left, and began to panic when she found none.

"Whoa hold on." Sam placed his hands on her shoulders, "Dawn left when I got up about 20 minutes ago. Nothing to worry about." Buffy's tension eased as she took a deep breath. They made their way back to the kitchen where Buffy poured herself a bowl of cereal that she didn't feel like eating.

"I wonder what she's upset about," she mused as she stirred the flakes hoping to absorb nutrition without actually taking a bite.

"Hm?"

"Well Dawn normally only takes early morning or late night walks when there's something she's stressing about." She paused in thought, "I guess it's not like there's a shortage of stress around here."

"Should I go talk to her, see if she needs anything?" Sam just felt like seeing her.

"Nah. I always think it's good to let her have some space. Let her breathe."

"Gotcha," Sam was slightly disappointed but understood. From the way she was talking this morning it didn't sound like she was too interested in discussing the events of the spell. He could leave her to herself for a bit.

Suddenly Buffy had a thought. "What if she saw you in my room last night?"

"How? I didn't see her come in."

"That's because if she saw you in my bed she'd think it was something more… intimate. Dawn has been there every time I've woken up screaming and last night was the worst." Her arm prickled in imaginary pain as she remembered Castiel taking hold of her. "That would definitely be cause for one of her walks. Me cuddling up to her big old Sammy crush." She attempted a chuckle, but it sounded awkward. Sam couldn't take his eyes off of the table. If he wanted to ask Buffy's permission it would have to be now.

"Buff, I kinda need to talk to you about that. Um, I… don't know exactly what happened, but I picked up a small crush of my own…" Buffy's eyes widened as she tried to asses whether he was serious or not.

"You mean a crush on Dawn? As in you have feelings for Dawn?" Sam nodded. Buffy's first thought was to kick his ass squarely. He didn't have any business liking her little sister. He was a hunter; his life would constantly be on the road. Dawn couldn't ever depend on him and let's not forget that she hadn't graduated just yet. Then more thoughts began to filter through. It's not like she hadn't fallen for a hunter herself, and at least it was him. Someone she knew and loved. Someone that knew how to protect her little sister, and would, even if it meant giving up his own life. It was Sam.

"Well… okay. I mean I'm cool with it. That is why you were telling me right to see if I was cool with it?" Sam simply nodded once more, "This is… good. Dawn has liked you since forever, and you're a great guy. I mean it's not like you're Dean." They both laughed a little at that, but the laughter was followed by sharp stabs of pain. Dean. Sam could see Buffy's eyes welling up and he moved to put an arm around her.

"We're gunna be fine. Giles will find a way to get him out." He told her. She looked up at him and sighed.

"Yea. You should go find Dawn, set things straight and tell her how you feel. I'm just going to head upstairs and see if Willow and Tara want to help me out with some stuff."

"Oh shoot. Um Tara's gone." Buffy gave him a confused look. "As in they broke up last night." Buffy looked down. How had she missed that information? Had there been signs? Did Willow mention something about a possible break-up to her? She couldn't remember.

"Well then I'm just gunna go see what I can do for Willow." Sam gave her a short squeeze and then headed towards the front door.

"I'll see ya later." Sam made to leave, and then turned back, "I'll call a psychologist friend of ours and see if there's anyway he can get some pills to help you sleep without dreaming." Buffy smiled inwardly at Sam's ability to sense what she needed. Once he was gone she sat at the table for a few minutes trying to gather herself. She needed to go deal with Willow's pain, but it was so hard when her own was overflowing.

Taking a deep breath she went up the stairs to Willow's room.

Maybe they could have a share all and get everything out on the table like old times. Buffy would have help with the blonde vampire drama, and not to mention the dreams she'd been having, and Willow would be able to cry out some break-up pain. Maybe a day with her best friend would break some of the ice that encased her. Maybe it would make matters worse. Or maybe Amy the rat would suddenly be a human again and Willow would slip farther into the magicks that had come between her and Tara.

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

As Dawn walked she couldn't look at anything without being reminded of Sam. Some of the things were so ridiculous. Like the grass. She kept remembering this one time Sam had been playing soccer in the park.

She'd been stuck inside sick for a week and he had come over to see if Mrs. Summers would let him take her for a short walk.

He'd promised that the fresh air would do her good and that he wouldn't let her exert too much energy. Once they'd gotten to the park some friends asked if he wanted to join. Dawn told him she would love to sit and watch, and she hadn't been lying. If it involved Sam she'd watch all day.

So he played. He wasn't bad, but he wasn't quite used to the way his legs had grown at the time, so they'd get tangled up and he'd fall down. He had huge grass stains on his jeans when the game was over.

It went on like that. The tiniest things bringing up memories of Sam. It sucked that he was going to be with her sister, but at least he'd be around.

She tried to remember the conversation they'd had before she left. Had she been clear? She really had no clue. She'd been in such a rush to get it over it that she wasn't sure if she'd actually said the things she needed to say. Well she hoped he got the picture anyway because there was no way she was going back for a second helping of that heart ache.

When she reached the park she sat down on a swing and rocked. This was a day for being miserable and she was just going to let all of it out at once. Buffy, Tara, Sam, her mom. She was long overdue for a good cry, and just like that the tears were flowing.

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

After Amy went downstairs in search of cookies, Buffy turned her attention back to Willow.

"Wow."

"Yea, I just realized I could and there she was." Willow smiled, "It's nice having another magically inclined friend around. So what were you gunna tell me?" Buffy felt the shell harden once more.

"Oh um, it's nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright."

"Yea. I mean I'm not parades and cotton candy, but ...okay." Buffy thought she seemed a little too okay. Her break-up with Oz had been horrendous and she had chosen Tara over Oz. Shouldn't this one be worse. _Maybe this is Willow's worse. _The thought was scary. Buffy knew from experience that bottling was what got you in trouble.

Willow was definitely bottling. Buffy just wasn't sure how much or how bad it would get, but she figured she had enough to deal with for now so she went downstairs to check on Amy.

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

When Sam found Dawn in the park, he didn't reveal his presence right away. He just watched her swing lazily back and forth. He couldn't see the tears through all her hair, but he knew she was sad. The way she slumped forward told him so much. A merely stressed out Dawn would have been kicking more anxiously at the ground. Her spine would've been a little straighter.

Sam smiled at his knowledge of Dawn's moods. He hadn't realized he knew her so well. A few minutes later he went up behind her and started pushing gently. The first swing startled her and she nearly fell off the seat, but Sam grabbed her before it could happen.

Her eyes turned to him furiously. Why on earth would someone push a crying girl like that?! Seeing it was Sam she quickly hopped off the swing to put distance between them. "What are you doing here?" She wiped at her face trying to remove all traces of the weeping she had been doing.

Sam took a step toward her. "I had to tell you something. I wanted to talk to you this morning but you left in such a hurry." Dawn breathed in deeply to try and control herself. He really had to come and tell her here? The park would be ruined for her! The only thing she'd ever be able to think of when she went there was how Sam had told her that he was in love with her sister. Freaken great.

The thought gave Dawn a little anger and she used it to keep the tears away. Folding her arms across her chest she imitated Buffy-sass, "It really couldn't wait till I got back to the house?" Sam was taken aback.

"Why are you acting that way? Did I do something to make you mad? Because I really don't know what I could've done. Does it have something to do with the spell?"

Dawn didn't know what else to do so she just said it, "You don't have to tell me that you're in love with Buffy, because I already know! Alright? I saw you guys last night and I don't need you to spell it out for me! I get it, okay?! I'm too young and I'm not her." With that she stormed off. Sam stared for a moment before going after.

"You have it wrong Dawn! I wasn't with Buffy last night because we're together. I was there because she's like a sister. I was there because Dean loves her and I need to take care of her for when he gets back." Dawn stopped but didn't turn around.

"So what did you need to tell me?" her voice was barely above a whisper and she was fighting hard against a giddy hope that was rising up against her better judgment.

"Well I came to tell you that lately I've been thinking about how I feel about you. And I've been coming up with more than friends. I thought maybe if you wanted to I could take you out some time." He got it out as fast as possible. Dawn squeezed her eyes shut and tried to stop the big goofy grin from spreading across her face.

Sam walked further so that he could turn to face her. With a small smile of his own he reached out for her hand, "I'll take that as a yes." Neither of them noticed the car pull up to the curb next to them as Sam bent his face to meet hers.

"Hey Sam. Forget all about me much?" Ruby was leaning up against the shiny red car with a small coy smile playing on her lips. Inside she was fuming. Of course he was with the freaking key girl. Dawn could feel the anger coming off of Ruby in waves. She frowned as Sam dropped her hand.

"Ruby? What are you doing here? I told you I wouldn't be back for a while."

"Well I couldn't just let you stay on the hell mouth all by yourself. You can get into all kinds of trouble here." She came over to stand closer to the pair. "Besides we have a few things to talk about." Dawn did not like this woman. She had a wrongness about her.

Sam turned back to Dawn and took her hand. "I'll be back a little later alright? Ruby and I have some things discuss." Dawn looked up at him searching his eyes. He bent down and kissed her very lightly on the lips. "I'll see you back at home alright?" Dawn could only nod.

He had kissed her. He had kissed her without the influence of a spell. She wanted to run and jump and do all sorts of frolicky little girl things. Then she remembered that he had just driven off with Ruby.

That Ruby chick had some how known about the hell mouth. Odd. Dawn didn't like her one bit. She tried to brush it off as she headed home, but something about her made Dawn's skin crawl. Oh well. Sam had just asked her out. Sam wanted to go on a date with her, Dawn! She couldn't wait to tell Buffy.

_Wait Buffy? What will she think? Will she really be happy for me? _Dawn walked home, playing all of the ways the conversation could go. There was a chance Buffy wouldn't like it.

Hand on the door knob, she took a deep breath and entered the house. A strange girl was on their couch. "Hi, I'm Amy." Amy smiled up at her from her plate of cookies.

"The rat?" Was Dawn's graceless reply. Amy laughed.

"The former rat. Willow changed me back. You know, she's come a long way with the Wicca stuff." Dawn frowned.

"Buffy home?" Just then Buffy called from the kitchen.

"In here Dawn." Dawn waved to Amy and made her way to Buffy.

"Hey where's Sam? Did he find you?"

"Um yea… I wanted to talk to you about what Sam told me." Buffy offered her sister a sincere smile. Even if she was in mass amounts of pain from not having her love at her side she could try and be happy for Dawn.

"I think it's great Dawnie." Dawn smiled.

"Really?"

"Definitely. What could be better? My Sammie and my Dawnie." She pinched her cheek and Dawn stuck her tongue out. "He's a great guy Dawn, and I know he'll take care of you. Cus if he doesn't I'll whoop his butt." Dawn threw her arms around her sister. Buffy hugged her back trying to enjoy the sisterly moment, but it was tough.

Pulling back she asked, "Where is he anyway?"

"Oh the Ruby chick, he was with last time I saw him, pulled up. Said they needed to talk about stuff. He said he'd be back later." Dawn looked a little downcast. "She somehow knew about the hell mouth. Have you ever heard of this girl?"

"Wait did you say Ruby?" Buffy asked suddenly.

"Yea. I didn't get a last name though." Buffy's eyes flashed furiously.

"Dawn you are never to go near Ruby again."

"Well it's not like I called her up." Dawn tilted her head in confusion.

"I am going to kill Sam Winchester!" She stormed off to find a phone, leaving Dawn standing in the kitchen trying to figure out what was happening. She decided to go ask Willow. She passed Buffy, who had dialed Sam's number only to hear it ringing from the couch startling Amy.

"Willow? She knocked on the door and found Willow sitting on her bed with a book.

"Hey Dawnie what's up?" Dawn recounted the story to Willow.

"He finally asked you?! Aw Dawnie that's great! I've been picking up traces of the from him lately." Willow smiled and Dawn was uneasy. Willow had been using magic to pick up on Sam's emotions. She pushed the unease aside to get to the point.

"But then Ruby pulled up."

"Ruby?"

"Yea I told you about her when I went to see Sam before you brought Buffy back."

"But you never said her name Dawn." Willow's eyes were wide, not with the fury that Buffy's had held, but definitely something not good. "You told Buffy this?"

"Yea. She got really mad."

"Dawn… Oh wow. We gotta go downstairs. If Buffy goes to find Sam, she'll kill him."

"What? Why?" Dawn was even more confused as she followed Willow down the stairs. They found Buffy going through her weapons chest.

"Have either of you seen the salt? Or my demon killing blade?" Willow cleared her throat, and Buffy turned around to see the items in Willow's hands. Amy was watching the whole thing wide eyed.

"Willow, the bitch is going to die." Buffy growled. At least she was angry. They hadn't seen too much emotion from Buffy in a while.

"I agree that she should Buffy, but we need to talk to Sam. This has been his battle and he's the only one who knows what's really going on."

"He let my sister around a demon! She spent the night there!" Buffy yelled. Sam wasn't this careless. He was supposed to be the good brother. If Dean were here he would kick Sam's ass 8 different ways to Sunday. At Dean's name in her thoughts, her emotions froze up again. She couldn't let it all go now. She had to keep sane enough to kill Ruby, and then beat the hell out of Sam for whatever he was thinking.

When she thought about Dean, thoughts just became tears. Tears just became make-out sessions with Spike. Those made her feel good for a bit, but then the guilty shoe dropped. She couldn't let that happen again.

"Buff, how bout we just wait till Sam gets back and have a chat with him. Maybe he can explain."

"Give him a chance to tell Ruby to get out of dodge? I don't think so. De-"She choked on the name, "He would want her dead. He always said that Ruby was poison for Sam and I have to believe him. He would've wanted this."

"Buffy, he's not here." Willow tried to be gentle, but she knew the words would hit Buffy hard no matter would. Buffy looked up to meet her gaze.

"Doesn't that mean I should fight harder for he wanted?" Willow couldn't say anything else. Buffy was clearly not going to give this one up. _Just like you're clearly not going to give up the magic. _A small voice nipped at her.

"We promised Anya we'd go in and help with the shop today." Willow said trying to divert Buffy's attention. Buffy glared but knew she was right, they had promised to help clean up the mess that had been caused because of the spell.

"Fine. We'll go, but don't think I'm just going to forget about Ruby."

"I don't want you to. I think it was careless of Sam, but I also think that it's Sam and we should let him explain why he did it." She turned her attention to Amy. "Will you be alright here?"

"Yes. I mean I think so. I'm just trying to absorb… everything."

"Well Dawn will be here if you need anything." Willow looked to Dawn who nodded that she would be.

"Tell Sam to call me when he gets back." Buffy said as her and Willow left.

Just as things with Sam looked like they could be good, Ruby happens. She really didn't like that girl… or demon actually.

Wow. Demon.

When Dawn thought about it she was kind of hurt. Sam thought it was alright to live in a motel with a demon? And then he let her, Dawn, stay there as well. Why would he take that chance? When it looked like it could be alright, they dip right back into the roller coaster of demons. Both methaphorical and actual.

Maybe this time they wouldn't all make it through. They'd already lost Dean and Buffy. It was by some miracle that they had gotten the latter back. Some crazy awful miracle. She loved her sister. She was so happy to have her alive, but she'd put her back in heaven in a heart beat if she could. If anyone deserved heaven it was Buffy.

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

They walked to the Magic Box trying to keep conversation but ultimately failing, because Buffy wouldn't let the subject float too close to Sam. It was hard enough keeping Dean from her thoughts without having this new problem shoved in her face. She kept running through the dream she'd had. She'd been to that place before. She'd seen Dean there, but Castiel was new.

Castiel had been her friend in heaven. She couldn't quite remember all the details, but she knew Castiel had been her friend. Why had he appeared in her dream? Couldn't she have just dreamt that she busted Dean out on her own and they lived happily ever after?

Nope. Of course not. She had to bring in another friend to miss. Another piece of her that she had lost. The shoulder that Castiel had grabbed ached. Her subconscious was cruel. Maybe they'd discover a new big bad to fight soon. Fighting helped her numb to things. She wanted the numbness back.

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

Ruby drove to the motel she had rented and went inside without a word. Sam followed unsure of what exactly she wanted to discuss. He was hoping she wanted him to practice, but it became all to clear what she wanted once they were behind the door.

She started kissing him, and when he didn't respond she stepped back and glared. "You leave me one lousy message after you'd already left, and then I don't hear from you after that. What's the deal Sam? You're just going to give up on our plan?"

"Ruby, I'm sorry I didn't call. I should have. It's just they needed me here and I got so caught up with…stuff. There was a spell and-" Sam wasn't exactly sure how to do this. He hadn't really thought about his relationship with Ruby when he realized he had feelings for Dawn.

"It's alright." Ruby's mood immediately shifted as she realized she was coming off too angry. She needed to be a hurt female, not an angry demon. "I mean it's not like I didn't know you had feelings for her, and we're not exactly dating. So…"

"Ruby I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just… I didn't think this was a thing." He placed his hands on her shoulders and she looked up at him. Careful to put just the right amount of sadness into her expression. She didn't want him avoiding her.

"Sam it's okay. I mean I'm different but I am a demon. What we should be doing is training you to kill Lilith so she can't bring Lucifer back. The… other stuff was kind of just a bonus." She gave a little smirk to show she wasn't angry. He sighed in relief.

"I appreciate everything you've done for me." He said earnestly.

"Well good but we've still got a ways to go. You haven't had a drink in too long." Sam looked uneasy.

"Maybe I need to lay off right now. They can't find out about-" But Ruby had already cut her hand and was holding it out to Sam who took it and drank. She thought he had been cut off from those friends, hadn't counted on the slayer being brought back. She wondered how the stupid brat could've wiggled her way into his arms. Surely Ruby had been giving him all he needed from the romantic aspect of things. As he sucked greedily at her hand she realized it wasn't going to matter. He was still addicted and he still thought they were going to save the world. Silly naïve boys.

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

Bobby watched Dean eat. After playing a few rounds of 'excorism' he had begun to accept that this was the real Dean. They'd hugged and Bobby was still in shock but Dean had asked for food, and Bobby had set about pulling some food together.

"So… what brought ya back?" Dean only shrugged and put the sandwich down to push up his sleeve and let Bobby have a look at the handprint burn. He then resumed eating as Bobby examined the flesh. After Dean finished one sandwich he paused before biting into the next.

"I gotta get a hold of Sammy. Think you could call him and tell him… Never mind. This is an in person kinda deal huh?" Bobby nodded.

"He'd hang up after the first syllable." Dean nodded, that's what Bobby had done.

It hurt Dean more than anything but he had to ask.

"Any word from the Sunnydale crew? With the slayer gone they must need mass demon control. You and Sam have been helping em out right?" He couldn't bring himself to look at Bobby with those words. The Sunnydale crew minus a slayer. His slayer.

"Sam's there now. Before that I think that Spike character was helping keep things under control." Dean snorted at that. He freaken hated Spike_. He was there helping while I was torturing people. _Dean struggled to get control before he broke something. "Actually, we need to discuss Sunnydale." Dean looked up at the tone Bobby's voice had taken. "They brought her back." Dean's stomach flipped over and he suddenly couldn't eat. Very un-Dean Winchester like.

"They brought her back?" His voice was quiet. Bobby nodded "How'd they do it?"

"Willow." That was the answer Dean had been waiting for. Witchcraft. They had used witchcraft to bring his girl back. Seconds later a plate hit the wall and Dean had knocked his chair over. Bobby sat patiently. He had been prepared for this.

"Didn't they know it would go wrong?!" Dean bellowed. He couldn't believe he was going to have to do this. He had been through hell and back, literally! Now he had to go kill the woman he loved. This was going to be way worse than anything Alistair could possibly devise. In hell he'd had the knowledge that Buffy and Sam were alright. As long as he knew they were alright… Now Sam was there trying to off her and he had to go help.

"It didn't." Bobby's voice was quiet and clear. Dean looked at him confused. "It didn't go wrong. Buffy's alive. Mr. Giles stopped by before he left for the mother country. Buffy is alive and she didn't come out wrong, but she _was_ pulled from heaven. Dean laughed a little.

"Of course she was Bobby. Now are we leaving anytime soon?" Bobby grabbed his keys and led Dean to the car. They listened to the radio as they drove and Dean busied himself with memories of the slayer.

The one time she bought new underwear in his favorite color. The time she beat a monster senseless to save_ his_ sorry ass. The times he held her to sleep. The time when she died to save the world and how this world would never know. In between the memories, little flashes of blood and guts would smear themselves across his eye lids. He didn't dare fall asleep.

It would be alright. Soon he'd be with Sam and Buffy and it would be alright. Or it would get worse. With Winchester boys involved things mainly got worse.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favorites! I've been so busy lately that I haven't been able to sit and write. Plus every time I sat to write the story line in my mind would change and I had to make accommodations and check to make sure everything was fitting with the other chapters. It's been very tiresome. Also the next few chapters were all supposed to be in this one. But it just kept getting longer each time I wrote so I had to break it up. It's crazy! Hope you enjoy

* * *

Disclamier: I own nothing, just having some fun with the property of others. Thanks Whedon and Kripke!

Sam left Ruby at the motel feeling slightly ashamed and hoping that she would stay out of sight. If Buffy found out she was in town there would be trouble for all.

As he walked he felt the small bottle in his pocket moving. How on earth was he going to hide it?

The Impala. He'd put it in the Impala's dash. There was no reason for anyone to look there.

His mood grew darker as he walked. He was going to hide something from his friends. From Buffy. From Dawn. How could he convince himself it was the right thing to do if he was so ashamed of it?

He found himself wishing Dean were there to take care of everything, like he always did, but quickly squashed the thought. _Dean_ isn't_ here to take care of everything. _Sam wanted to hit something. Dean taking care of everything is what had gotten him a one way ticket to Hell. Even in death Sam put way too much pressure on his brother.

How had Dean managed all the pressure? Sam chuckled darkly as he remembered all of the girls and alcohol. Not like he could blame the guy. He had to put all that angst into something. Dean chose a raunchy life of easy women and getting intoxicated, while Sam chose… demon blood. He pushed the thought aside to focus on Dean. He remembered the first time he'd caught big brother with Buffy. He had been so pissed.

Sam had been having dreams about Angel and Drusilla. Each night they tortured his family and friends while he watched helpless. Each night he woke up with the knowledge that it wasn't real, that Buffy was the strongest person he knew and she would kick the crap out of anyone who tried to hurt them. Then one night he dreamt about the demon, Acathala. The dream was new and different from anything he had ever felt before. He left him sleepless so he had snuck out to see Buffy.

Once at her window he saw them. They weren't doing anything really. Just lying on her bed all cuddled up. Dean leaned down and kissed her hair, and Sam sort of lost it. His big brother wasn't content with the girls that just came up to him in bars. He had to go for the unattainable ones. He had to fight for what he couldn't have. _Always rising to a challenge, _he thought bitterly.

Sam was knocking on the window before he could think about it. Dean and Buffy's startled faces looked up to see an angry Sam. Dean immediately jumped off the bed thinking that there was some kind of trouble. Buffy too was in motion and over to her stash of weapons, pulling out an axe that was good for killing most things.

Dean threw the window open, "What's up? Is dad alright?" Sam grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him outside. "Whoa Sammy, you gotta tell me what's wrong." Sam glared, and stuttered, trying to think of what to say. Buffy came over and began to climb out the window.

"What's happening Sam? Do you know exactly what it is? Should we call Giles?" Sam took a deep breath and put a hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"Nothing's wrong. Not demonically wrong anyway." He shot Dean a look. "Buffy could you give us a sec?" Buffy looked confused but ducked back into her room and shut the window.

Dean sighed. Sammy had seen them.

"Dude," Sam began, "She's my best friend. I thought she was your friend too. Why would you go and ruin this? She's just gunna end up hating you and then I'll have to choose sides and it'll suck."

"Sam, it's not what you think alright? It's not like we're doing it or anything. It's just… I don't know Sammy. I just don't know what it is with Buffy. But I'm not gunna hurt her. I… enjoy spending time with her." He grumbled this last part and Sam turned wide eyes to see if Dean was serious. He was. Sam could see it written all over his brother's face. He was falling in love with something that didn't have 4 wheels and a windshield.

"Look, it was her idea to keep it a secret, and her idea to keep it casual so we don't have to think about it so much. It's … nice Sammy. I'm not always trying to get in her pants and I actually like listening when she speaks." Sam snorted. "I promise not to mess up the whole dynamic of everything. We'll just keep it simple." Sam nodded and couldn't really think of anything to say. Dean Winchester was confessing that he enjoyed talking with a girl. Sam was baffled. "What are you doing here anyway?" Dean shut off the topic.

"Um well… I had this dream-"

"Aww wittle Sammy have a nightmare? Needed to cuddle up to someone?' Dean smirked. And there was his jackass big brother. Sam punched him hard in the arm and Dean laughed.

Just then present Sam was ripped from the memory as he hit Revello Drive. He could see the Summer's house and thought about turning around and walking some more. Instead he made his feet move toward the house, hoping he could push his guilty secret far enough down that no one would notice. If it would help him save the world and possibly his brother he had to do it, right?

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

When Willow and Buffy first arrived at the shop Xander had started in with usual jokes. Willow attempted to engage in their normal Scooby gang banter but Buffy could barely crack a smile. She just began moving around the room and assessing items for trash or repair.

"Um Buffy? I got this." Willow said as she began chanting. Xander instantly cut her off.

"Whoa Will! Um no, that's cool you don't gotta…" He didn't want to bring up Tara or make her think he was angry, but he really didn't want her doing magic in the shop.

"Xander it's okay. It's a harmless little spell and it'll be so much faster."

"Well I know but it's just, I…" He searched quickly for an excuse, looking to Buffy who had seemed to come out of numbness to band with him on this one. After last night it had become clear that Willow was, indeed, getting a little out of hand with the magic. "I just want to do this the old fashioned way. Me, man!" He pounded on his chest and pointed to a broken shelf. "Fix things." He boomed and laughed at himself.

"Maybe it would be good to just be occupied for a while." Buffy suggested surprising all three of them. She really wanted Ruby dead and she really wanted to pummel Sam and then find out what the hell he was thinking, but that could wait for a little longer. Right now she just wanted to make some sort of effort to care for her best friend.

"Oh okay. Well let's get started then." Willow was happy that Buffy had suggested keeping occupied. She thought it was Buffy being mature and taking time to cool off and think. "Xander, I almost forgot. Amy isn't a rat anymore." She told him excitedly as they set to work.

"How'd that happen?" He questioned as he examined a broken shelf.

"Well I had forgotten about this spell to conjure other spells as you need them. I learned about it from one of Giles's books in high school." Buffy's mental blocks were hit hard at the name. "It requires only one word but a ton of inner strength, focus, and power. I wasn't able to do it back then. Last night I realized I can now." Xander and Buffy shared a glance.

"Wow Will. You're all grown up." Xander gave an awkward chuckle. Willow beamed.

"It's weird thinking about where we've been and where we are now." Normal people would've thought fondly back on their days, shared some more memories, and kept on working, but the scoobies weren't normal. The statement only brought pain. Just the day before Willow had been with Tara and now she wasn't. Not too long ago Buffy had been in heaven, before that she was with Dean. Now she had neither. Xander thought back to a day when his friend had been grateful that he resuscitated her.

"So um, where's Anya?" Willow asked to alleviate some of the tension that had just entered the room.

"Well she had a bit of a traumatic night with all the rabbits so she's taking it easy back at my place. Plus there's still a lot of rabbit hair here and I think that spooks her a little too." After that they pretty much worked in silence, speaking only to figure out if something was salvageable or needed to be trashed. Every now and then a saw broke the silence when Xander had to cut wood to repair shelves and tables. Willow and Buffy didn't comment on their annoyance at Anya not even showing up, especially since all her spell casting had made most of the mess. The atmosphere was too fragile. Besides Buffy was concentrating on just how she would locate and finish Ruby.

When they had gotten the majority of the shop straightened out Xander called it a day. "Alright, Anya can do the rest herself tomorrow. I love her, but no way is she getting off that easy."

"I'll just take the scrap wood to the basement." Buffy said as she picked up the pieces of wood that Xander hadn't used. After dropping her load on the pile that Xander had been building she turned right into Spike.

"Hey," He breathed as he moved his hand to her hip.

"Go away Spike." She pushed his hand away and attempted to step around him, but only succeeded in pushing her body closer to his. He smirked. She felt the stress of the day press down on her and tilted her head closer to that smirk.

"Buffy!" Xander's angry voice called down the stairs. Buffy, fearing the worst, pushed Spike away and jumped the steps 3 at time. She didn't find any demons, only a fuming Xander with Willow trying to calm him down.

"I told him about Ruby." Willow told her with an apologetic look. Xander couldn't stand Ruby. Probably had something to do with the fact that she had once possessed him and used his body to try and kill Anya. He wasn't really sure how, but Ruby had explained it to Sam as a mistake of sorts.

"Ruby?" A voice from behind Buffy questioned, and she turned to see that Spike had followed her up the stairs.

"Oh look everyone it's the irrelevant vampire." Xander remarked before turning his attention right back to Buffy. "And what about Sam? What the hell was he thinking? Dammit Buffy! I let her go see him. I'm so sorry. Someone should've gone with her." He was yelling and Willow stepped forward to put a hand on his arm.

"Xander, it's alright. I'm going to take her out. And it isn't your fault. You guys should've been able to trust Sam." Buffy felt a sharp stab at her chest. _She _should've been able to trust Sam. Willow stepped in once again.

"Guys we don't know what's up with Sam and we shouldn't jump to conclusions until we do."

"Wait like Ruby, Ruby? The Ruby? Oh I can't wait to meet this chick!" Spike had never actually met Ruby, but he'd heard the Scoobs talk about her before. He smirked and thought of all the chaos he could wreak with her then he saw Buffy's face and felt… guilt? _No way. I might be in the love with this woman but I'm still evil. Chip or no chip. _Even so he couldn't shake the look on Buffy's face when he said Ruby's name.

Xander was so angry that he didn't even acknowledge Spike's comment. "So let's go find him. Ask him what's up."

"Dawn said she'd call if he showed up at the house." Buffy informed him.

"But what if he decided it's alright to bring her there?"

"Xander, Sam knows how we all feel about Ruby. Besides Tara and I put up all those anti-demon spells over the summer. Those are permanent unless broken."

"But what if Sam breaks them? What if he's crossed over to the dark side and he's been living in your house for a whole day?!" Xander was getting a bit hysterical at this point, "What if Sam's possessed?! Did you guys ever think of that?"

"Sam is not possessed." Buffy's voice was low and her face had turned dark.

"Buff, you gotta consider-"

"If he was possessed I would've known." Buffy folded her arms and stared Xander down. He looked away, clearly not wanting to say what everyone else had been thinking. What if Buffy had come back as less than she was? What if she didn't have all of her powers in order?

"Exactly. She would've known." Willow said, sounding a bit defensive. Saying that Buffy came back wrong was like saying she had performed the spell wrong and that was like saying Tara was right about the magic.

Far too many nerves were being struck in that room.

They all searched frantically for a way out of the situation. There was too much going on and for them to begin fighting now would lead to disaster. Willow opened her mouth in an attempt to diffuse the bomb that was sitting heavily on the three friends when Spike decided to open his trap.

"I don't know why you all are fighting about this like sodding morons. The git is probably at your house with the little bit right now. You really think she'd call you if her puppy love came home asking her to keep quiet and help him get outta dodge? Hell no she'd-"

"No one asked you Spike!" Xander snapped. Buffy shot a panicked look Xander's way.

"Xander, he's right." And she took off out the door. Xander sighed, gave Spike one last piercing stare which was met with a smirk, before being hustled out the door by Willow.

"Keys." She said holding out her hand. Xander dug into his pocket and handed them over knowing she was much calmer than he and therefore more qualified to drive.

Spike stared after them. "Right well, I'll just head on back to my crypt…."

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

"Dawn?' Sam called as he took a tentative step inside.

"Kitchen." Dawn's voice floated down the hall. She looked at the phone in her hand and then up at Amy who shrugged.

"If you want to talk to him I won't tell anyone." Dawn gave her a small half smile.

"Thanks." Sam walked in looking apologetic. _As he should, _Dawn thought. She kept her face blank and looked at him evenly. She'd wait for an explanation before asking questions.

"Listen I'm really-" Just then he saw Amy. "Whoa. Amy."

"Yea, I just changed my look. Do you like?"

"Um yes. Wow." He looked at Dawn.

"Willow." She said by way of explanation. His face darkened with understanding.

"Well I'll just go watch some T.V. really loud. I'm sure the news can give me something more to look forward to in this bright world." She remarked sarcastically before excusing herself to the living room. Sam turned his attention back to Dawn.

"I'm really sorry about Ruby." He didn't want to waste any time being awkward about it. "She just needed some stuff cleared up and I figured I owed it to her. She's just another hunter I've been working on a case with, there's nothing more than that."

"Other than the fact she's a demon. You left that part out." Dawn continued her even gaze that was neither, accusing or angry. She just wanted answers and she wanted them without a fight. She was sick of tension.

"How did-"

"I told Buffy a girl named Ruby pulled you away. They put it together. I can't believe you wouldn't tell me something like that." Dawn looked down. She was hurt and suddenly she found herself about to cry. Sam took a step and moved to put his hand on her arm before thinking better of it.

"Dawn I'm sorry. It's just that Ruby is different. She's been helping me. We've been hunting Lilith together. She and I have the same goal."

'What about us? You don't think we'd have helped? We hate Lilith too… I loved Dean too." Her voice was small and she found it increasingly harder to hold back the tears. She had lost so much and for Sam to choose a demon's help over hers… her heart was threatening to break. Sam put his arms around her and she let him.

"I'm so sorry."

"That doesn't change the fact that you did it. Buffy is pissed." She looked up at him and the tears instantly dried. She had forgotten all about Buffy. "Sam you should leave and call her from the road. There's a good chance she'll beat the hell out of you if you're here when she gets home."

"I kind of deserve it." Dawn shrugged. Sam laughed. "Hey you want me to get beat down?" She just shrugged again. They both laughed and he hugged her tight. "Dawn I'm going to stay and take whatever she can give. I should've been here the whole time and I really do deserve it. Not like I can just leave you all now." He kissed her hair and Dawn began to feel something that had been gone for a long time.

Hope.

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

Buffy ran with Dean. It was a playful race. She was winning of course but he was gaining, making every single one of his muscles work for it. She could hear him laughing just behind her, and knew that he was getting ready to pounce. She smirked and picked up the pace. She was really going to make him earn it.

At first she didn't notice the footsteps behind her trail off, but after a few seconds she realized that no one was behind her. As she reached the end of the path she smiled wide before being tackled from the side.

"Oompf!" Dean rolled them over a couple times before landing on top.

"Took a short cut." He grinned down at her. She loved and hated the ways in which he surprised her.

Buffy attempted to be annoyed but then he'd kissed her. "Come on. I think we've earned an ice cream." He pulled back, got up and pulled her with him. He pulled her close and held her there as they walked. Despite the sweaty workout they'd just had neither protested. It felt good to have what they had.

Buffy passed the place they had gotten that particular ice cream at and her arm tingled again. _Not now, _she thought. She had to get to Dawn at that moment. There were so many things she was afraid of.

What if Sam persuaded Dawn to go with him? What if Ruby came along and made her? What if Sam was possessed? She didn't bother to ponder on any of those questions for too long. Mostly she focused on running.

When Buffy got to this house she didn't stop. She merely burst through the door, silently thanking whoever was listening that it had been unlocked. "Dawn!?"

"Buffy?" She looked sharply to her left to see Dawn and Sam on the couch watching television. Sam stood up.

They locked eyes. Buffy's furious and heated. Sam's trying to convey an apologetic tone. Neither spoke. He was waiting for her to let loose and she was trying to figure out where she wanted to begin.

"Can we please-" Dawn tried to step between the two, but Buffy cut in.

"Dawn, Sam and I need to talk." Dawn looked at Sam who took her hand, gave it a squeeze and nodded. Dawn squeezed back and then made for the stairs.

"Buffy-" she stopped when she got to her sister. Buffy sighed.

"I won't hurt him Dawn… For now." She raised an eyebrow at Sam. "We just… need to talk." Dawn nodded and went up to her room.

Once she was gone Buffy and Sam went back to staring at one another.

Finally Buffy spoke. "I'll finish what Dean couldn't if I need to." Sam dropped his gaze then. His insides turned. He would have to leave soon in order to keep everything a secret. "Giles told me about some of the prophecy before he left. It turns out he and John worked together a lot more than we know… I love you Sam. I believe you want to make the right choices, but that means you have to trust us. Ruby is poison." Xander and Willow came in then.

"We miss anything?" Xander walked further into the room to stand in between the two, looking from one to the other, observing the tension. Willow stayed behind Buffy.

"Buffy, she can help. Guys, you don't understand. Why can't you trust me? I know she's a demon and she may have different reasons for wanting to help, but our goals match up. Kill Lilith and save the world."

"Sam, sometimes you can't see what's wrong because you're too close to the situation." Willow didn't notice the pointed looks that Xander and Buffy shot her.

"Alright solution." Xander said. The other three looked at him curiously. Xander's voice was suddenly even and calm. Not the manic, ready to slay guy who had been at the Magic Box. "Tell Ruby to get out of town, and Buffy won't go after her." Buffy scoffed but didn't say anything when Xander looked her way. "We missed you Sam and you belong here with us, but we can't accept Ruby. Especially since… well anyway I don't care why it happened I just know that if I see her I'll come up swinging."

Sam set his jaw and nodded. Those were acceptable terms. It wasn't like he had invited Ruby to be there in the first place. He knew full well she wouldn't be welcome and she knew it too. Why on earth had she showed up?

"What about Dawn?" Buffy's voice drew everyone's attention. "Why would you take that chance? She's a demon Sam. Did you even stop to think about what could've happened? We had just finished fighting Glory. You have no idea if her servants are still lurking around." She kept her voice even, but Sam felt as thought she was screaming at him. His stomach tightened and he seriously considered hurling.

"It won't happen again…" He pushed the feeling in his stomach aside and dove into the next sentence. "Besides it isn't like Spike has ever been left alone with her." Xander clapped his hands to his face and Willow winced. He had just gone there.

"Spike is-" Buffy began.

"Chipped? Doesn't mean he can't get someone else to do it." He held her gaze for a long moment.

"It won't happen again." She wasn't sure if she was talking about kissing him or leaving Dawn with him, but she decided that the statement worked for both scenarios. They all stood in awkward silence before Xander broke it.

"Well, why don't you call the evil hell bitch and tell her what's up? I'm going to get home to Anya and get to work putting up some demon barriers just in case." Then he moved to Sam and clapped a hand to his shoulder. "Seriously though man, it's good to see you." Xander gave him a sincere look before Sam pulled him into a hug. "Ha so, what? With Dean gone we get to have all the chick flick moments we want?" He cut himself off and pulled back. "Sorry I…"

"No, Xand it's cool. We're gunna get him back I can feel it." He glanced over at Buffy. She looked down. She was trying to squash that hope. Hope hurt. "Also it wouldn't be the same without you making awkward, inappropriate jokes." They shared a small laugh.

"Well I really do have to go. We will hang soon and speak at length. Ha I just said 'at length'." Xander made for the door.

"I'll walk you out." Willow glanced at Buffy and followed Xander.

Once they were outside Willow stopped Xander on the sidewalk. "What was that? You were all ready to chop someone to pieces." Xander let out a breath.

"Will, Buffy needs him. If we had just had a giant shooting match he would've left. Who knows, maybe Dawn would've followed him. If we want to help him and Buffy we can't just start attacking. I hate that demon, and if I see her I will see to it that she dies, but I can make this one allowance for the sake of our friends. She leaves and we won't go after her for right now."

"When did you get so wise Mr. Harris?" Xander chuckled.

"Bout the same time you turned gay. It's just that your revolution was so much bigger than mine that no one paid any attention." They laughed, embraced, and said their good-byes. Willow went back inside to find the first floor empty.

Trudging up the stairs she thought about how tiring it was to do actual work. Magic would've been a much simpler solution.

Buffy's door was closed, but Dawn's was wide open. She and Sam were sitting on her floor deep in conversation. When they saw her Sam got up.

"Hey Willow I called Ruby and she left. She won't come back to town." Willow raised an eyebrow and looked past him to Dawn's room. Sure Buffy was back and it wasn't like Dawn was a child really, but she still felt a little parental angst. He followed her look back.

"Oh I… we're going to leave the door open and everything so…" Willow sighed.

"I trust you Sam. It's just weird. I mean you and Dawn? I always thought it'd be kinda neat, but right now it's just weird. She's 17 but you're still five years older. Just tread lightly Winchester cus that girl is loved." Sam nodded. He got that. He would have to figure how to leave her here without having to give her too much information "And you don't really need to leave the door open. If you were to try anything, Buffy's room is right next door." She gave him a pointed look.

"Ha dually noted." She moved to hug him.

"We really did miss you a lot."

"I know Will. I'm sorry I stayed away." She pulled back and stepped toward her own room.

"Night Sam. I wouldn't sleep in there if I were you." She pointed to Dawn's room. "Just in case. You never know what'll set a slayer off these days." He smiled at her and headed back to Dawn.

Willow found Amy sleeping in her bed and sighed. Being a rat for 3 years was probably a tiring ordeal. To go from the energy level of a small rodent to having to function as a human being? Eesh. Willow shivered at the thought while she put on her pajamas.

Looking at Amy, Willow wondered if it would make her uncomfortable to wake up next to a lesbian. Then decided she didn't care. It had been a long day. Amy was now a human being adjusting to the real world. Sam was still working with a demon and something was up with the powers he wasn't supposed to have, she could feel it. Xander was being reasonable and it was her first day without Tara.

The night was going to be difficult and she just wanted her bed.

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

Buffy lay on her bed. As usual she wasn't really thinking. Merely letting memories and what not wash over her. Mostly they involved Dean of course. Dawn was in there a lot as well. She had to keep her baby sister safe. In all honestly she wanted to ban Sam from the house. From the city even. He and Ruby should have to go far away together.

_You might have to kill him. _That day in the hospital John had said those words to Dean but he had glanced at Buffy and she had understood. He was counting on her to be the responsible slayer and make the tough call if it was necessary. He had hated doing it she could tell, but she had also understood. At the time she had anyway.

At the time she hadn't had a sister who was a magnificent key in need of protecting.

Yes the Winchesters were family to her, but when John laid that burden on her, she had been a slayer who could break her own heart if it meant saving the world. She loved Sam, but if he crossed that line she would have to finish it. For Dean.

_Where is that line Buffy? _A small voice nipped at her. _Will you be the one drawing that line? Cus if so I'd say we're all doomed._ She didn't answer the voice. She merely closed her eyes and drifted to sleep. Per chance to dream?

That's exactly what she was hoping. A dream of an angel and a man. Maybe she could get her subconscious to tweak it just a little bit, so they didn't have to spend so much time in the hell portion.

She barely noticed the throbbing in her arm where the angel had left a hand print.

LSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLSLS

Somewhere about 2 hours outside of Denver, Colorado Bobby had convinced Dean to stop so they could rest for a bit.

Okay convinced wasn't exactly the term. More like he had driven until Dean literally couldn't keep his eyes open and then stopped and tricked Dean into sleepwalking into a motel and flopping down on the bed.

Dean had protested so vehemently to stopping that Bobby had continued driving even though he was dead tired himself.

Dean wanted to get to his brother and Buffy as soon as he could. That was understandable, but as Bobby watched the boy sleep he noticed that Dean had also been trying to prolong needing to. The way he tossed and turned suggested that the nightmares he was having were horrendous.

Bobby could only hope that a certain girl would be able to help. Right before he fell asleep he could've sworn that the handprint shaped scar was glowing, but he was extremely tired so who knows what it really was.

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After receiving the call and sweetly agreeing to leave town, Ruby had thrown the phone against the wall. She had tried to keep him separate from the damn Sunnydale gang. She knew they would mean all sorts of trouble for her plan. She had no plans of leaving just yet.

First she needed to spark Sam's little power with a false future dream. She really hated doing this and knew it would be exhausting but it was the only thing she had now. She had to make him believe that staying was putting them all in danger.

The father was going to be so pleased with all the work she was doing. She just had to secure his homecoming, and eliminate the brat and the slayer while she was at it.

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Spike stewed in his crypt. The amount of brooding he had been doing lately made it seem like he was competing for the 'Broody Pants' title. Suddenly he threw his bottle against the wall and grinned.

He wasn't the great brooding ponce and he never would be. He was going to make the new player in town work to his advantage.

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AGH! Let me know what ya think please! I know that this chapter was very involved, but I'm hoping to bring it all together in the next few.

Okay I'm fairly certain that the shop wasn't a total mess in Tabula Rosa, but I needed it to get Buffy out of the house and to bring Xander in.

I'm terribly sorry that there wasn't as much Dean/Buffy action but I'm hoping that the next chapter will allow me to bring a lot more of that. I'm also sorry that Buffy didn't kill Ruby…yet ;) Lots of things are going to happen in the next few chapters. Hopefully I'll have more time to write in the future!_He was _


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Okay so another chapter that was supposed to have more. But I figured I should get this out to you all before you assumed I just quit writing. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing and I used a few lines of dialogue from and actual episode of Buffy.

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Ruby bandaged her arm and cursed her human host for being such a profuse bleeder. The ritual required far too much of her blood and she was going to make someone pay, after she took a nap.

Laying down she thought about all the ways she was going to hurt the slayer and her band merry followers. It would be fun. Perhaps she would save the kill for when her father got back. He would surely be even more pleased with her. Sam would be his vessel and she would be his right hand.

"Mmmm." She moaned sleepily. The anger she felt earlier was melting away as she remembered that all her arduous planning and scheming was going to mean something.

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Sam took only a small swig from the bottle he had hidden before creeping back into the house to sleep. He just had to keep the urges at bay for the moment. He'd drink more when he actually needed the power.

Stepping into the house he stopped to look up the stairs. He remembered the way Buffy looked at him earlier and a chill went down his spine.

So much had been put into that one look. How on earth had they gotten to this point?

Deciding not to dwell too much on the events of the night he went up the stairs to Buffy's room. She lay still for the most part twitching only every so often. He couldn't tell from the look on her face if she was having a nightmare or not.

After a few of seemingly peaceful minutes he resigned himself to the floor downstairs (the couch was simply not big enough) knowing that if she had a bad dream that at least one person in the house would hear and wake up.

Sam lay down thinking sleep would be impossible with all the events of the day rushing around his mind but as soon as his head hit pillow, he was out.

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Everyone was dreaming except for Ruby. Her demon sleep was simply a way for the frail human host to recuperate. She didn't need much sleep but when she did sleep she was entirely too vulnerable for her liking.

The dream she had created for Sam was playing across his subconscious mixed the whatever his subconscious wanted to see that night.

She hadn't done the spell perfectly, hardly anyone could, but she knew that Sam wouldn't be able to tell if it was part of his psychic power or not and he'd end up leaving town just in case. Sammy was so human in the way he worried about others that it sickened her.

Sam was dreaming good things when a flash of Ruby's magic crossed into it. He was on a beach that he often went to in his dreams. He was alone and the sun was shining and he was allowed to sit and relax without someone calling him to duty, when suddenly a spot of red showed out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head in a slow dream like manner to find nothing. So he relaxed back onto the sand.

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"Dawn Summers." Dawn looked at the odd figure in front of her. "You were not always called by that name."

"So? It's the name I have now and that's all that matters." She couldn't remember where she got that. _Seems to me that it_ _doesn't matter what you start out as._

"I suppose you are correct."

"Am I dreaming?"

"In a way, but it is not a normal dream."

"Yea I got that part. _How_ is it not normal?"

"An Angel of the Lord is speaking to you through it."

"Oh. Well what do you want?"

"I have been sent to tell you that you need to stay away from Dean and Sam Winchester."

"Newsflash: Dean Winchester is dead." Castiel responded by merely looking solemn. "And I've waited a long time for Sam so I don't think I'm just going to stay away from him now. Where do you get off thinking you have any right to tell me what to do anyway?" Dawn had enough people telling her what to do and she wasn't about to start letting some guy in a dream pitch in his two cents.

"I am an Angel of the Lord."

"You said that." She crossed her arms and looked annoyed which caused the angel to chuckle slightly. "What's so funny?"

"They were hoping you'd follow orders better than your sister. I tried to tell them it was unlikely."

"Who was hoping? What are you talking about? Why are you in my dream?" Dawn was getting angry at the invasion and could feel something stirring inside of her.

"Please calm down and I'll explain everything that I am permitted." The angel looked slightly worried.

"What the hell do you mean you'll explain 'everything you're permitted'?" She felt a sensation in her chest as her anger grew.

"Dawn please. I will explain. You're feeling something different right now. Something you've never felt before. Correct?" Castiel was bracing himself for the power in the girl held to erupt. For her own part, Dawn was suddenly hyper aware that something was happening to her and couldn't figure out how to make it stop. The feeling in her chest was growing, and she looked down to see a glow coming from her fingertips. All of her Summers' bravado was lost as she looked up at the angel with wide helpless eyes.

"What's happening?" Her voice was panicked and small. The angel made to reach out to her but hesitated. Would he be able to touch her without harming her? She wasn't a mere human so perhaps his angelic fingers wouldn't burn her skin. Slowly his hand found itself on her arm.

"Dawn. My name is Castiel. I am here to help you. The power of the key is still inside of you. It's what is causing the disturbance with-in you. You need to calm down." Dawn looked up into the angel's eyes and tried to force herself into being calm.

Then, in a burst of light, Castiel was thrown from her subconscious and Dawn woke up with a gasp.

Looking around she saw that she was in her own room, there was no one else in it, and she wasn't glowing. An assessment of her body told her she wasn't in danger of bursting into a sun beam.

She had had a dream. She couldn't remember exactly what had happened but it had been significant.

However her body told her that it wanted to go back to sleep and she obliged it, resolving to figure out what had happened to her in the morning.

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_Sam._ Did he just imagine a voice? "Sammy." No someone was definitely saying his name. He stood up on the beach and looked around. Upon seeing Dawn, a smile stretched across his face. "I love you Sam. Isn't it good to be loved?" He squinted in confusion were they up to the 'I love you' stage of the relationship? He felt as though he was missing something.

A flash of red to his left. When he looked he saw nothing.

"Hey did you see…" He turned to ask Dawn about the red but she was gone.

Sam was once more alone on the beach but clouds were starting to role in. "Looks like rain little brother."

"Dean?" Sam turned to see his brother standing behind him. Dean smile was cocky as always but something was happening to his face. It appeared to be melting.

"Rain would be nice. Hell is really hot."

Another flash of red and this time when Sam looked, a giant hole pulled him into its center.

The images he began to see were a tangled web of memories and things to come. There was the first kiss that he had shared with Dawn while under a spell and it cut to them in a church surrounded by friends. Someone was blessing their marriage.

Dean was there smiling, and Buffy, with a large round belly, was standing beside him. The love of the image was palpable.

Then it was gone. Replaced by a giant wall of faces, all people he loved. All of their faces were melting. Suddenly the faces were gone and Dawn was standing in front of him once more. As she reached out a hand to Sam a demon came from behind and plunged a knife into her back.

"DAWN!" He couldn't get to her in time. And then Buffy's fist came across his face.

"You knew!" She screamed, "You knew and you stayed. You should've taken the demon bitch and left." Her rage faltered for a moment as she drew a knife from her belt. Her face was the face of someone who had lost too much and was about to lose more at her own hand. "We all loved you." Then Sam noticed Dean's body lying not far from him. He didn't even fight back as Buffy sunk the blade into his stomach.

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Dean slept, but only because his body was too exhausted to even think about fighting it. While he slept he dreamt of terrible things. Hell, as you can imagine, does things to the mind. He had spent years there.

As images of blood and gore and suffering flashed through his mind he barely noticed the girl that was watching him. She had appeared in his hell. Or at least something that looked like her had been standing over his shoulder many times. The fact that she was there bothered him but he learned that if he begged her to leave the thing would only begin to taunt.

As he cut into the first soul that lay on his rack she let out a small gasp. "Don't get squeamish on me now." He said grimly.

Buffy didn't know what was happening. She was supposed to save him, and yet she couldn't bring herself to move. Shouldn't she have been fighting something? And where was Castiel?

"Ow." She said absently as she rubbed at her left shoulder.

"Oh you feel pain now? Give me a break."

"Dean…" He stopped what he was doing. Her voice had sounded so very much like her. Demons could do fantastic imitations of humans, but after being around them for decades you began to realize the tiny things that made them inhuman. This Buffy didn't have any of those tiny things. Her voice was pure.

"Dean please… Let me save you." The way the words wavered on her lips caused his breathing to hitch.

"You don't have to save me from everything." Buffy finally found a way to control her body and began taking steps toward Dean.

"I know. But I want to. It doesn't even have to be real right now."

"I'm coming to you. Just wait where you are."

"Dean, you're not making sense...I'm right here." Dean's mind gave him a sharp jolt and suddenly he realized that this was Buffy Summers. The hand shaped glow on her left arm, mimicked the one on his right. He didn't understand but he knew that this meant there were connected. She was actually in front of him. Well maybe not her actual body, but her mind was connecting with his.

He looked back to find the rack with the soul on it was gone. Dean held up the knife in his hand and it disappeared. If this was an illusion he wasn't sure he cared. Crossing to stand in front of Buffy he lifted his hand to her face.

"My subconscious gets trickier all the time." She murmured before he pressed his lips to hers. He held it for a moment before pulling back slightly. "I'm sorry I didn't come for you sooner." A tear escaped her eye and he reached his thumb over to wipe it away.

Dean wondered at the statement. Why hadn't she come sooner? If there was anyone who could've saved him it was this girl. Not that he was angry. He knew there had to be a reason, but at the moment he couldn't remember what it was.

"I'm not sure if you're real or not, but if you are just know that I am headed your way. I'll be with you as soon as I can." Buffy frowned. Her dream Dean wasn't supposed to say such things. He was supposed to hold her and tell her how much he loved her, but he wasn't supposed to say he'd see her soon.

She decided to ignore it for the moment and reached up for another kiss. Before their lips met, however, they both felt a tug and Buffy was pulled away. "Dean!"

"Buffy! What's happening?"

"I don't know! I think something's wrong at my house." Dean reached for her, but couldn't get to her.

"I'll be there!" He yelled some other stuff but Buffy couldn't hear as the power of the Key broke through the dream worlds that surrounded her.

LS*SPN*BtVS*LS

Buffy tip-toed through the house checking on all of its guests and residents. Dawn was asleep and looking peaceful. She didn't linger there for fear of waking her little sis. Dawn had school in the morning and Buffy didn't want her sleeping in again.

A look into Willow's room showed the witch squeezed into a tight ball on one side of the bed. Her face showed stress and pain. Buffy wished she still attained the ability to know how to make her best friend feel better, but it was something she was still re-learning.

Amy was sprawled out next to Willow looking comfortable and pleased. The former rat was glad to have her body back. For some reason Buffy reached out with a slayer sense, and found… Darkness? There was something inside the new house mate. It was very small, but there nonetheless. Buffy resolved to keep an eye on the woman.

Finally she made her way downstairs to Sam. His large form had opted to sleep on the floor this night because the couch had simply scrunched him too much.

She couldn't get an exact read on his face, but she knew he was in pain. However since it wasn't really anything she could hit, she wasn't exactly sure how to handle it at the moment.

Sam coming back was supposed to have made everything better, but it seemed as though he'd only brought problems of his own. She took one step toward him before turning back to the stairs.

She heard him gasp behind her. Turning around Buffy saw Sam sitting upright and clutching at his stomach.

"Sam?" He whipped around to see who had said his name.

"Oh God. Buffy… I just had a dream that I was stabbed and…" He took a deep breath as he remembered the dream.

"Was it one of those prophecy type things you have?" Buffy moved to kneel by his side.

"I don't know. I mean I don't think so. It felt… different." He let out a groan and closed his eyes tightly. When he opened them Buffy saw that they were a little shiny, as though he were trying to hold back tears. "Why can't I just be normal? Why can't we all have met under normal circumstances and then grown up together like normal kids? You and Dean would probably have been married by now. Dawn and I could've-"

"Okay stop. Dean and I would never have found anything in common if not for this life. He might have hit on me a couple times but after a date or two I would've ditched him for a quarterback type. Then I would've gotten married and become fat and miserable in my old age." They both cracked a small smile. "As for you and Dawn… she would've been a girl who had a crush on you in grade school then you would've gone off to Stanford and married Jess. I'm not saying I'm happy Jess died, far from it, but I am happy that my little sister gets to be happy with you _now_, and I'm happy that you could find comfort in her.

"Without this life we wouldn't have the tangled, messed up, complicated family, we have today. It's far from perfect, but I wouldn't change a thing…. Well I might change a few things." She pulled Sam into a hug. "I'm sorry for being so angry earlier."

"No don't be. I was wrong. I never should've trusted Ruby with something like that. My life is one thing but Dawn's… I should've known better."

"Yeah, you should've. I'm still sorry I was so harsh." There was a small silence as they just held onto one another. Then Sam realized something he needed to know.

"You'd do it. You'd do what Dad said if it came down to it?" He pulled back to look her in the face.

"It won't come down to that."

"IF it does, I need you to do it."

"Sam, I-"

"Let me finish please." He put a hand on her shoulder, "Buffy I trust you with everything." He thought of his brother and Dawn lying there dead as Buffy stuck the knife into him. "If you have any reason to believe that I'll hurt someone, any reason at all, kill me. Don't wait until it's too late. Can you promise me that?"

"I… yes Sam. I promise." _Really Buffy? You think you'll be able to make that call? What if you make it too early? What if you decide and it's too late? _She did her best to ignore her inner voice. "Now can we go to sleep? This has been an extremely exhausting couple of days and this conversation has just taken the last of it out of me. I just recently got pulled out of heaven you know." She flinched inwardly as she tried to sound casual. To say 'heaven' was almost enough to make her shut down completely.

"Did you wanna sleep next to me on the floor?" Sam asked when he noticed Buffy made no move to get up. "It kinda seems like we sleep better if the other is near." She thought about that and managed a small smile.

"Yea, you're right." As she laid down next to Sam, she wondered why that was. She could barely stand to look at Dawn or any of her friends without feeling guilty or regret, but when it came to Sam he made her feel at ease. Perhaps it was because he didn't expect anything from her. He wasn't waiting for her to break down or to be joyful about life. He simply offered her what he could and allowed himself to take comfort in a friend.

Sam's head was running over the dream. Could he trust it as prophecy? Or should he discount it entirely? Buffy had said that he should have taken the demon and left.

Did that mean that he and Ruby should leave and continue with what they had been working on?

"Hey Sam?"

"Yea?"

"Any chance you want to go patrol?"

"That sounds like a great idea." They both got up and dressed to kill some evil creatures.

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Castiel watched all of them. The Key's magic had only banished him from her dream. She didn't know how to harness the power enough to send him all the way back to heaven. He was not sure how to proceed.

There were a lot of strong willed people involved in this battle. The Winchester brothers had been given to him to watch over. After retrieving Dean from the pit he thought it would've been fairly simple to keep them all away from one another, but it looked like the Winchester's and the group from Sunnydale, California would find a way to one another no matter who wanted them apart.

How they had even met was beyond him. Powerful forces had been at work to keep them seperated and yet they had found a way to each other. They were constantly rushing into the next apocalypse in order to save one another. It made Castiel wonder about his mission to keep them apart. Why would God ask such a thing?

Of course it wasn't his place to question God's will. He would do as he was asked, for that is what angels are supposed to do, although most angels were unaware that the orders were not coming directly from the Most High.

LS*SPN*BtVS*LS

Dean shot up out of his bed. "Bobby!"

"What?" Bobby grumbled from his pillow.

"We have to go! I saw Buffy. I need to get to her!"

"It was just a dream Dean. Go back to sleep." Dean didn't feel like arguing.

"I'm leaving. You can come if you want." And he was out the door before Bobby had time to even think about what was happening. He got up and scrambled after Dean.

"Wait son. Let me just check out." Bobby was unhappy about being woken up but it was hard to argue with a boy who had just recently returned from hell.

When they finally got on the road Bobby asked what had happened. Dean recounted the dream and Bobby made mental note to contact a few of his friends about Dean's case.

Dean drove trying to shut everything out of his mind. He needed to get to Buffy and that was all that mattered at the moment.

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Sam and Buffy came across a scene at the Sunnydale Museum. After seeing the yellow crime scene they shared a look and broke off to see if they could find out what was going on.

Buffy ran into Spike after seeing a man who was frozen solid wheeled out of the building. "Great."

"Well, well, well look who decided to show up."

"What are you doing here Spike?"

"You know a man was frozen alive in there. Might try showing some compassion." Truthfully he'd been on his way to find a demon when the cop cars had gotten his attention. He'd figured Buffy would be there shortly so he decided to stick around.

"You know as long as we're both here, might as well tag along. You know as a team we could-"

"Yea that never really ends well does it?"

"It did the other night." He smirked. She rolled her eyes.

"You really seem awfully fixated on a couple of kisses Spike." She made to walk away from him.

"And you seem awfully quick to forget about em." Buffy turned around to face him again.

"Look I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry if you thought that it meant more."

"But?" Spike quirked an eyebrow.

"But when I kissed you, you know I was thinking about Dean. Right?" Spike sighed. "I was depressed cus he's not around and Giles is gone. But that's all that it was. You have to let it go." Spike shook his head. She was never going to let that boy go.

"Did it work?"

"What?" She was confused.

"Did you convince yourself?" Buffy closed her eyes in frustration.

"Please stop." With that she turned to walk away, but Spike followed.

"A man can change."

"You're not a man." Buffy stopped to look at him, trying to impress her point, "You're a thing." And she turned her back on him again.

"Quit walking away from me!" Spike grabbed her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" She turned and punched him. Before Spike could get a hold of his own anger, he hit back and braced himself for the headache that was supposed to come. When it didn't he let out a strangled yell anyway so she wouldn't know the chip had malfunctioned.

A fist slammed across Spike's jaw and then Sam was there helping Buffy up.

"You're a thing. An evil disgusting thing." Buffy spat before turning to Sam. "Did you get what we need?" He nodded. "Then let's go." Sam gave a final glare in Spike's direction and let Buffy lead him away.

"What was that about?"

"He was just… being Spike." That was a satisfactory answer enough for Sam. He really didn't need a reason to hit Spike. As they walked he told her what he had learned concerning the security guard that had been turned to ice.

LS*SPN*BtVS*LS

Ruby woke up to a curious smell invading her room. "Hello vampire."

"Demon." Spike said from the chair next to the bed. "I didn't think demons needed to sleep." Ruby sat up and stretched.

"It's rare, but after certain rituals it's necessary."

"Rituals eh? What kind of ritual did you do?"

"I should really kill you for this intrusion."

"But then you won't get to hear my proposition." He smiled. Ruby looked at the vampire. Noted the slick blonde hair, the English accent, and the cocky attitude.

"You're Spike. The slayers little puppy." She smirked.

"Hey I am no one's puppy!" He leaned forward and looked menacing.

"Well you can't hurt anyone, and I've heard that that you wept for the slayers death. Didn't you used to kill her kind?"

"I can hurt you." He chose to ignore that part about the Buffy dying.

"You could try." They were both on guard now. Neither one remembering that Spike had a proposition.

"Little girl I'm the vampire that causes demons to tremble." Ruby yawned. "Hey! Quit that. I'm bad! To the bone even. Why else would I be here trying to offer you a deal?"

"Haven't you heard? I'm working for the good guys now. I want Lilith dead as much as anyone. Sam and I are… friends." She grinned slyly.

"Rubbish. A demon screwing a human doesn't make em friends. It means the demon is being manipulative." Ruby's eyes narrowed. She didn't like people who tried spoiling her plans.

"You know if I killed you no one would care. Sam would only be more convinced that I'm trying to help him. Especially when I tell him you were trying to cut a deal with me."

"Arg! You bloody demons don't even stop to look at it from every angle! I don't care about Sam. You obviously need him for whatever you're doing and I'm assuming that involves all the demon blood he's drinking." Ruby shot up off the bed.

"How do you know about that?" Spike smiled at having stuck a nerve.

"Demon's talk, love. Generally not to me, but I hear what I can. Now that I have your attention let me tell you why I came here. I'm sick of being viewed as the slayers lap dog. Just cus I'm in love with her everyone thinks I've gone soft. And yea I've got a _small_ soft spot for the niblet, but those monks made her just so damn… adorable. "

"Monks?" Ruby questioned. She had clearly missed something about Dawn Summers.

"Yea she used to be this key thing and a bunch of monks made her into a little girl. There was this whole drama with a hell god a couple months back. Anyway, I'm assuming you want Sammy boy away from the Dudley-Do-Rights. I can help drive him out." Spike didn't notice the look in Ruby's eye after he had mentioned that Dawn was the Key.

"And how do you think you can help?" Ruby wasn't going to make any sudden moves. Clearly this vampire thought the Key was out of commission and she didn't want him to find out that she knew otherwise.

"I hold a certain fascination for the slayer. Ever since she came back, there's been a dark side in her that needs satisfying." He gave his trademark evil smile.

"So you're proposing that seducing the slayer will drive Sam out of town?" She also didn't want to let him know that she already had a plan for getting Sam to leave.

"Well… he'll be so upset that… Okay I haven't really thought this one through but I know I can help you." Ruby rolled her eyes. He was dense, but he could probably be used to lure the slayer away from the Key long enough for Lilith, or herself, to make a grab for it. Then there was the witch to worry about. She flopped back down on the bed in frustration. This would have to be a very carefully thought out plan and she would have to be careful not to let the vampire in on any of it. She closed her eyes for a moment before it all came to her. This could work. But there was one thing she didn't understand.

"What's in it for you?"

"Chaos. I miss being able to cause chaos." He pouted like a child and Ruby rolled her eyes again. It might be exhausting, but when all was said and done there was a good chance they wouldn't have to worry about tricking Sam into doing anything else. They could just bleed the Key.

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So what did you think? I'm trying to keep some of the actual show in there but there's going to be a lot I'll need to cut. This is the only season of supernatural that I don't have on hand so it's a little more difficult to keep everything straight with that show. Let me know if there's something you want to see more of and I'll work it in. Also I promise to dedicate a whole chapter to Buffy and Dean once I can actually get his butt into the picture.

I tried to make sure Spike wasn't just evil. He didn't actually mean to give information to Ruby, it just slipped because everyone assumes that the key is no longer active since Buffy closed the gate.


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